Page 53 of Exacting Vengeance

She turned back to the cupboard and pulled out a pack of filters. “Caf or decaf?”

“I don’t care. What do you want?” The true meaning of his question was clear, and he’d meant it to be. Though they’d been apart for ten years, it was like being thrown back in time to when they’d danced around the passion smoldering between them. Then, there’d been no possibility of anything happening between them. Now, the reasons might be different, but he wasn’t sure anything had changed.

Beautiful blue eyes regarded him with a mixture of apprehension and something else he couldn’t pinpoint. Given her past, apprehension he could deal with. If it was fear, he refused to be the cause. “It’s your choice, Victoria. What do you want,” he repeated, feeling the heat inside him bubbling like a volcano ready to erupt.

She put down the filters and let out a deep breath. “I know I don’t want you to leave.”

“Are you sure?” His question came out husky, almost a groan.

Slowly, she nodded, and when she replied, her voice was a soft whisper. “I’m sure.”

“I would never ask you to do something you aren’t ready for.” He’d wait forever, if that’s what she wanted of him.

“I know.” This time her smile wasn’t hesitant. It was one filled with promise.

Like his boss had said, there were parts of his past he had to let go of. Victoria wasn’t one of them. He uncrossed his arms and held out his hand. While it was probably only seconds, it seemed like an entire minute passed before she laid the palm of her hand in his. He held it to his lips, dropping a light kiss on her fingers.

Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them away.

“What is it?” He touched her face, outlining her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “Tell me.”

“All the beautiful women you must have been with in your life…” A few tears escaped and slid down her cheeks. “I can never live up to them. I’m not experienced. I’m not beautiful. I’m afraid I won’t be enough for you.”

“Not enough for me?” He couldn’t stop the bark of incredulity escaping his throat.

Since transferring to New York, there’d been a few here and there but only for physical gratification. Reality was, he’d been practically celibate for the last decade, because she’d been the only woman he’d given more than a passing thought to. The only one he truly wanted. “You are incredibly beautiful. I thought that the moment I laid eyes on you.” To this day, he’d never forgotten that moment on Semyon Novikov’s balcony. “Don’t ever doubt that, and don’t let someone else’s hurtful comments get to you.” He didn’t want to say the man’s name out loud, and he didn’t have to. They both knew to whom he was referring. That asshole had inflicted an emotional beat-down on her to the point where she couldn’t see herself the way others did. The way he did.

Victoria’s jaw dropped. “The first day we met my face was covered with the remains of bruises. I was anything but beautiful that day.”

“You’re wrong about that. So wrong.” Not even the imprints of Yuri’s knuckles could diminish her exquisite loveliness. There was so much more to her beauty than what was on the surface. Inside, she was a warm, caring, loving person. Now he had to undo the damage that had been done to her. Slowly, and at her pace.

He leaned down and began kissing away her tears. Her skin was warm and soft, wet and salty. “I used to dream about you,” he murmured against her lips. “About us. Together.” She sighed against his mouth, her breath a warm, whispering caress. “As for not being experienced or living up to anyone else, all you have to do is be yourself.” The rock-hard erection behind his zipper was evidence of that, but he had to take this slow and let go of the fact he’d been dreaming of this moment for ten long years.

She stared at his chest, shaking her head. “I’ve tried making love with other men. It was always a disaster, and none of them ever called me again. At that point I never wanted them to. What if I don’t live up to your expectations? What if I’m lousy in bed?”

“Then we’ll make love on the floor.”

Though she didn’t meet his gaze, he caught her lips twitch. “I’m being serious here.”

“So am I. So, let’s be clear on something else.” Gently, he clasped her chin, tilting her head and forcing her to look at him. “You’re worried I won’t find you sexually exciting.”

“Well”—she bit her lip—“yes.”

Unable to stop himself, he laughed, heartily this time. “In my business there’s nothing like good hard physical evidence to dispel a bad theory.” He took her hand and placed it over his crotch, holding it there long enough for her to feel just how good and hard his evidence really was. “I rest my case.”

She burst into laughter, instantly lightening the mood.

“Seriously,” he said. “I have only one expectation.”

“What’s that?” she asked, her smile gone, replaced by lingering anxiety in her eyes.

“I expect you to trust me.” That day at the bank flashed before his eyes. He’d been going through life in a stupor, blaming himself for the past, some days not caring if he lived or died. That day, he’d seriously considered taking a bullet. Until the memory of Victoria came to him like a shining star in the sky. Now he wanted more out of life, and he wanted her in it. “Do you? Trust me?”

The next step was all hers. Whether she took it toward him or away from him, he would accept her decision.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Victoria stared into the golden-brown eyes of the man she’d wanted for so long. His words pulled at her heartstrings. He wanted to make love to her but was willing to wait if she needed more time.