Page 29 of Exacting Vengeance

His brows rose. “Isn’t that your legal name now? You didn’t lie.”

Unable to look him in the eye, she bit her lower lip and turned away. Maybe it was true that she’d answered the identity questions truthfully and accurately. But there’d been other questions on that form, too. Like, Have you ever committed a crime?

“You have nothing to fear and nothing to be ashamed of. What happened to you wasn’t your fault.”

“You don’t have to tell me it wasn’t my fault.” She clenched her fists. “I know that.”

“I’m glad to see you get angry.” A full smile curved his lips. “It means you’re standing on your own two feet.”

“My own two feet,” she repeated his words, the truth of it pummeling her.

A decade ago, she never would have fought back, verbally or otherwise. But things were different now. She was tougher now. “I don’t need you to give me a high school pep talk.” The sad reality was, she was angrier at herself than at him. “I just can’t believe this is happening,” she murmured.

“I know, and that’s my fault. I never got the chance to explain things to you. After a job is over, I don’t usually see people like you again.”

“What do you mean, people like me? You make it sound like I have leprosy.”

“That’s not how I meant it. I don’t usually see people I’ve met undercover and then be in a position to work with them. I’m not apologizing for what I did. I had a job to do, and I’d do it again if I had to. I’m just saying I’m sorry about not having been able to explain things to you before I left.”

“After you disappeared, you mean. I thought you were dead.” The words tasted bitter on her tongue as she recalled the moment she’d had to accept that Alex was never coming back. Sadness didn’t begin to describe the hollow, emptiness that had taken root. That day, her world had turned dark, and she almost hadn’t gone on. “I thought Yuri killed you for helping me and left you in an unmarked grave or dumped your body in the middle of Lake Michigan.”

He took a deep breath and let it out. “I really am sorry.”

“You’re sorry. That seems to be your favorite phrase of the day. You could have told me you were alive or at least gotten word to me somehow,” she said, trying to detect any emotion that would tell her he’d ever really cared about her. “You could have found me if you wanted to.”

“No, I couldn’t have. Not without breaking every confidentiality rule about a survivor’s location.” His brows drew together, and his voice gentled. “But I did want to.”

Did he?

Of course not. He said it himself. He’d had a job to do, and she’d merely been a part of that job. He was only here to clear the air and his conscience.

From somewhere deep inside, a mental switch flipped in her head. She took a deep, cleansing breath. It was time to bury her feelings and forget what she’d once secretly hoped would happen between them. “Are you considered to be a good undercover agent?” He frowned, clearly not understanding where she was going with her question but knowing it wasn’t a good place. Too bad. “Are you?”

“Yes,” he admitted.

She crossed her arms. “Are you one of the FBI’s best undercover agents?”

He clenched his jaw but didn’t answer her.

“Tell me,” she insisted, knowing full well the word he would say next.

His jaw clenched harder, emphasizing the chiseled planes of a face she’d once cried over every night for weeks. “Yes,” he gritted out.

“I can see why.” Giving him an insincere smile, she leaned over and rested her hands on the armrests of his chair. Ironically, the last time they’d been this close, he’d kissed her until she was senseless. “You’re a very good liar.”

Chapter Thirteen

She’s right. He was good at lying, but there was so much more to it than she would ever know.

Every undercover operative who’d lived to retell the story had to be good at deception. He’d had to become someone else and present that persona—a virtual mask—every minute of every day he’d lived, worked, and breathed around Yuri Petrov and anyone else in Yuri’s orbit.

Kyle did his best not to inhale her pretty scent into his lungs and failed. He actually had considered finding her, many times over the years, but each time he’d decided against it, knowing she was better off making a brand-new life for herself. Without him in it. Because again, he always wound up hurting those he cared for most.

He couldn’t blame her for the harsh words. He’d never meant to cause her pain. Now or then. “Lying to you was never my goal or my intention. Yuri, Nikolai, Semyon…they were the targets. Lying to you was unavoidable.”

“Unavoidable.” She straightened and took a step back. “You could have done that. Avoided me. Then you never would have had to lie to me. Moving forward, we can fix that little problem. After I’m done helping Alyona Kolbyev at the courthouse on Monday, you’ll never have to lie to me or see me again. Problem solved.”

Kyle winced inwardly at that thought, feeling a pain in his chest and finding it disturbingly familiar to what he’d experienced the last time he’d seen her. The night he’d left her in a Chicago hospital.