Page 64 of Adeline

She’d stood before a crowded ballroom and all but declared her love for Jasper.

And, yes, she knew with every breath she took that she loved him.

Would love him until her dying day.

Her chest ached so deeply at the thought of losing him—a man she’d known for such a short time, but who had affected her in ways she’d never dreamed possible. She could not envision a day in which she did not see him, speak with him, ride uninhibited across a meadow at his side, stand in the rain as he cared for his people, and live a life secluded at the Abbey if that meant they could be together.

“Theo…Alistair…I love him.” She shook her head back and forth, begging them not to question her words, to take her feelings for what they were. “I know you might not understand, but, I fear I cannot help where my heart takes root.”

A hiccup escaped her, and she clamped her mouth shut, determined not to fall apart until she’d found the safety of her room—a room that would not be hers for long when Alistair cast her out for bringing disgrace upon their entire family.

But Adeline would be fine, she would find her way, even without her friends and her family.

If Jasper could survive the loss of his parents—and later, his aunt and uncle—not to mention the harsh cruelty of those who blamed him for their family’s deaths, then Adeline could muster the courage to live a life on her own terms, free of society, and satisfied in her own right.

Would she not be content—if not happier—to live a life unburdened by social responsibilities, unrestricted by the rules and guidelines for what made a proper lady? She would be permitted to help others, live in a way that allowed her to be kind to all, and compassionate to other’s plights.

It was the way of things at Faversham Abbey.

Chapter 25

Theo…Alistair…I love him.

Adeline might have said more, but Jasper heard none of it as he stood in the foyer down the hall from where Lord and Lady Melton, along with Adeline’s other friends, stared at the woman; a mixture of shock, apprehension, and pride on their faces.

All of those emotions were coursing through Jasper in that moment, as well, along with at least one more he was able to identify: love. Jasper could not remember feeling such for anyone other than his aunt and uncle. Certainly, he’d loved his parents, but he’d been a mere child, taking for granted he’d been blessed with a caring family, an adequate home, and fine things. In time, Jasper had come to respect and care for his servants and a few men who allowed him close at the plant.

But love? True, unconditional love…for a woman?

There was no mistaking that was the type of love Adeline spoke of. No woman, especially a lady born and bred to be above reproach, would jeopardize her status in a society she cherished if she did not wholeheartedly love another. And she’d stood before all of London, her family’s closest friends, and all but proclaimed her love…for him.

Jasper watched as Adeline threw her arms wide, her back to him. Lady Melton was the first to spot him over Adeline’s shoulder.

“My heart is solidly telling me Jasper is the only man for me.” Her shoulders shook with her words, as if she kept her sobs inside but had no control over her body. “He is fair and kind to his servants and staff at the plant, he has a shrewd business sense, he is empathetic to the plight and misfortune of others, he is trusting and selfless“—she ticked off the list on her fingers—“and he is, above all else, loyal and compassionate.”

She stumbled on the last words, and Jasper longed to go to her, wrap his arms around her, and tell her everything would be fine. He desired nothing more than to put a stop to her ramblings. He was not the man she described with such passion. He strived each and every day to fit those characteristics, but attaining them had been difficult and, more often than not, out of his reach.

Jasper started in her direction, but her shoulders tensed and her chin lifted.

“Honestly, dear brother, I cannot imagine that I deserve a man such as Jasper, or that he would ever think to take me to wife.” She whimpered when no one made any move to respond to her. “I am his complete opposite in nearly every way. I have a vanity that runs far too deep, I am critical of others, I am petty and selfish, I demand things I have not earned, I cause so much trouble for you and Theo, and I am overly harsh with Josie. I do not deserve his loyalty…or yours, my flaws are so great.”

Jasper could not, would not, believe any of those things to be true or that they represented who Adeline was. This was not the woman he’d gotten to know in Faversham. That woman had been confident to a fault. She’d been undaunted by the storm, hadn’t hesitated to assist him in providing food for his people, and she rode across the meadow to the plant to make certain Jasper was not injured, and Emily’s husband was rescued.

He’d retreated into himself after the fire. Yet, Adeline’s own father had died the previous year, and she’d stepped forward to take her younger siblings all the way to Canterbury. She hadn’t hidden in her room and wallowed in her grief.

Adeline had met Jasper head-on and refused to balk or back down from him. And neither had she turned away from him due to his scars and the villagers’ ramblings proclaiming the beast.

It had only been she who’d taken the time to recognize that his beastly appearance had not rotted his insides.

“Besides,” Adeline began again, her voice strong once more. “I will be twenty-one in less than a fortnight. I will not need your approval or blessing to live my life any way I see fit. I will wed any damned man I choose, or I will never marry at all. But it will be my choice, my decision, and my cross to bear if I muck everything up.”

Lady Georgina let loose a loud snort of laughter while Lady Melton fell into a light, feminine giggle. Lady Josie appeared ready to faint on the spot as her eyes settled on Jasper as he walked slowly down the hall. He was uncertain when his legs began to move, but move they did—toward Adeline.

Jasper hadn’t the nerve to meet Lord Melton’s stare, yet he could visualize the viscount’s narrowed glare.

He only kept his attention on Adeline’s back. Ten more paces and he’d be to her.

Someone must have alerted her to his presence because her chin lowered and she pivoted to face him.