Page 13 of One Vow

I nodded as if finding Felicity on the roof, probably hungover and sporting a black eye that looked painful, was completely normal. Expected even. “You could hire someone.”

She threw her head back and laughed, although I suspected it was more from hysteria, maybe hypothermia, since she’d only worn a hoodie, jeans, a scarf, and a pair of bright orange work gloves to climb up there. “No need. Can’t you see I have this all under control?”

And as if to emphasize the opposite of her point, when she waved her hand, she let go of the ball of lights and it rolled down the rooftop to somersault over the edge and thunk onto the lawn. She sighed. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”

“And the ladder?” Same old me. I wanted her to need me. Or to at least say she needed me.

“Wind.” When I tilted my head, she rolled her eyes. “Fine. I accidentally kicked it when I stepped around it.”

She clucked her tongue against her teeth and waved a hand again. “Oh, please. There are hours of daylight left. It wasn’t time to panic yet. Besides, Mrs. Ellerby will be out walking Pookie around lunchtime. She’d call the fire department for me if I asked.”

She pulled her phone out of her hoodie pocket, then watched as it flipped out of her hands and slid down the roof to land beside the ball of lights on the ground.

“Or I could have called 911.” She stared down at her phone. “By standing on the roof and yelling 911! 911!”

I grinned because we both knew she would’ve ended up calling me. And I was glad for it even though I assumed it was the reason she frowned.

“What are you doing up here, Finn?” She sighed, her head cocked to the right.

“The house, the lights…not your problem. So…shouldn’t you be downstairs all snuggled in bed?” Her face went red, could’ve been the cold, or not. “On the couch?”

A picture of Beth and her ridiculous middle-of-the-night text message filtered through my mind.

Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt your happy time on Nerds Getting Nasty, but you’ve been there since yesterday and I haven’t gotten a divorce update yet. So...?

“We need to, um, get to the courthouse.” And now I felt like jumping off the roof.

“Right.” She straightened, but the hand fluttering that signaled her nerves started. “Of course.”

She threw her leg over to the backside of the roof and stood to walk down the pitch like she was an old pro.

And maybe because I didn’t want to go to the courthouse because that would mean I would never again have a reason to see her, or maybe I just wanted to sit on a rooftop on the windiest and coldest day in Maine this year, either way, I reached for her hand, and she glanced at me when we connected. “Why don’t we finish the lights first? Then we can go.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I can do it when we get back.”

What turning away couldn’t hide, the crack in her voice, made me feel like an ass.

“Lis, we’re already up here.” And it wasn’t likely to get any warmer now.

She nodded. “But the lights are down there.” She motioned to the lawn with her head then pointed as if I didn’t get it.

“Yeah.” And I chuckled because this meant she wasn’t making me leave. And even if it was just a few more hours, I was still married to Felicity which meant I couldn’t marry Beth. And something about that, everything about that, made me happier than I’d been since…a really long time ago.

I hadn’t seen her in years, didn’t know anything about her life now, but I knew the twitching of her lips meant she wasn’t sure. The blank stare meant she was lost in a decision. And the shivering meant she was freezing cold.

“Look, why don’t you go inside and warm up while I finish the roof?” She shook her head and shot me the go to hell look, one cocked brow, half-pursed lips. “Come on, Lis. You’re cold and I’m here. Might as well make use of me. I’ll hang the lights. We’ll go to the courthouse. It’s a win/win.”

Not so much, but I wanted her to go inside and get warmed up, not stay here on the roof.

Was it pathetic that I had to convince her to put off the trip to the courthouse to dissolve a marriage I’d walked out on a decade ago? Of course, it was. But I’d always been on the wrong side of pathetic when it came to Felicity.

One Decade Ago

My stomach churned. I couldn’t breathe. Not only had I lost any hope I ever had of becoming a doctor, but I had to tell Felicity the entire truth, a truth that guaranteed I was going to lose her and hurt her.

Oh fuck. What was this going to do to her? My skin tightened and my heart ached. I felt powerless. Angry. Guilty. I wanted to die, even though death was too good for me. More I wanted to kill Ryder. This was all his fault. Well, not all, but…fuck, man. What did we do?

Two hours ago, they told me my fate. Suspended pending an investigation. Then they’d filed out of the room. Left me alone to mourn my fate. And I was tired. So, fucking tired. Not that I had anywhere to go to sleep. I wasn’t even allowed to go back to the frat house except to pick up some stuff until the investigation, which was not going to land in my favor, was finished.