Page 36 of Dancing With Guilt

“I’m all packed up, ready to go.” She was still in his arms, and she could see it on his face, he was going to kiss her. Stunned, she just stood there, letting his warm lips touch hers without protest. Maybe if she let it happen, she’d feel something for him?

Which was exactly when Lincoln pulled up in his car behind them, his face a mask of fury.

“Fuck,” Roxie whispered, pulling away completely now, her irritation and anxiety on full alert.

“I came by to see if you needed a hand with your belongings. I guess you have your hands full already,” Lincoln said when he stepped out of the car and glared with malice at Nick.

“Don’t be rude, Lincoln. This is Nick’s place. He has a right to be here and he was just saying goodbye.”

“That didn’t look like goodbye to me,” Lincoln muttered, his eyes on Roxie now, hurt dwelling somewhere in the angry depths but she knew that hurt wouldn’t be there for long. She was right and knew it when Nick spoke up, making it a thousand times worse.

“What happens between Roxie and I is none of your business, Lincoln.”

The hurt disappeared, replaced with a simmering rage. “Shut the fuck up, Nick. You have no say in what I do or don’t do.”

“Actually, this is Nick’s property, Lincoln, and he does have a say. Besides, he’s not the one who’s had somebody tailing me for the last couple of days.” Roxie brought up the one subject she’d tried to ignore because she wasn’t sure if it meant Lincoln still cared about her or if he was just trying to get dirt on her.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?” Lincoln turned to her, real confusion scrunching his face up.

“The PI or one of the guys from your boy’s club that’s been following me around everywhere I go without you. It’s kind of rude, Lincoln.”

“I can’t believe you have someone following her. That’s fucked up, man,” Nick added, disgust written all over his face. “You’re the one that told her to get out, why would you do something like that if you’re done with her?”

“I don’t have anyone tailing you, it must be your imagination after everything that’s happened.” Lincoln dismissed the whole thing and went back to his car. He glared at Nick, a threat on his face that he didn’t verbalize.

Roxie didn’t like the way Lincoln’s jealousy made her feel, like she had a chance of getting him back, because she knew she was just a toy to Lincoln. One he’d thrown away. The only reason he was jealous now was because someone else wanted to play with her. Fuck that.

“Fuck, I fucking hate you, Lincoln,” she hissed. “Nick is a very good friend to me and you’re over here acting like the biggest dick ever created. Stop it. Just go back to the fucking house, I’ll be there soon.”

“Sure. Whatever, Roxie,” Lincoln answered with a sneer that made her want to slap him. Why was he being such an asshole?

Lincoln got in his car and sped off without another look. Roxie slumped back down into the car and looked at Nick. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. He’s acting like a child.”

“He’s just regretting a very stupid decision, Rox. He’ll calm down,” Nick responded, shocking her with his insight. “He still cares, he’s just being a massive dick because he doesn’t know what to do about it.”

“That’s a strange thing for you to say,” she replied, wondering at the sudden change in his attitude.

“I know you care about him, Roxie. And I know he’s broken your heart. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is. All I can do now is try to help you get through the part that comes next. It’s a strange situation and you’re all going to have a lot to deal with. I’ve been acting like a chump myself, trying to convince you to be with me. I’ve been a dick too, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Nick.” Roxie dismissed the apology but took his words to heart. She needed a friend and he’d realized that finally.

“Well, I saw the way you looked at him, like you wanted to explain why I’d just kissed you and how it didn’t matter. That’s pretty definitive proof that I’ve been overstepping, and you aren’t ready for anything from me. I’ll try to stop that from now on.”

“Thanks. I guess I should go now.” Roxie didn’t turn to start the car though. “If I’m honest though, I’m not sure I want to go anywhere.”

“If you want, we can go across the street, get some coffee. As friends. You don’t have to do this alone, you know?” Nick leaned against the open door nonchalantly, not a threat at all, just a concerned friend.

Roxie considered the offer, looked out of her windshield, and really thought about what she was about to do. Lily would be out of her control, really out of her control. Lincoln would see to that, no matter how she might fight him. He’d use her career, her past, her lack of riches against her. This stupid plan of his was the only way to ensure she had some kind of interaction with her daughter in the future.

“It’ll be fine, Nick. I’ll give you a call soon, let you know how it’s going, alright?” She said, feeling something broken inside shatter a little bit more. “I should go.”

“Okay, Roxie. But just know, I’m here if you need me.”

Roxie smiled and closed the door. Everybody that she felt she could count on had said those words to her a dozen times lately. She knew they meant them, too, but none of them could help her. Not against Lincoln Young.

Roxie started the car and drove away, leaving Nick in the parking garage. The sun was about to set, and she saw the lights of a dozen bars. The urge to pull into one and sit with a bottle of tequila until she couldn’t feel anything hit her hard. So hard, she pulled into one and sat in the parking lot.

People passed all around, into the bar, further down to other places, none of them knowing or caring about the turmoil boiling inside of her. Roxie wasn’t one to drown her sorrows in alcohol, but she wanted that numbness right now. She wanted to forget about everything and lose the sensation that her soul was being crushed, for just a little while.