Page 25 of Dancing With Guilt

Because what June had said did hit home. Since she was eighteen, Roxie had bounced from one trauma to the next, holding herself above water somehow, but never seeming to catch a break. If he could make this latest event less traumatic, he would. He still cared deeply about her. He couldn’t deny that one bit.

Now he just had to find a way to convince her that he wasn’t going to screw her over completely, because that was something else he’d come to realize about her. Men had screwed her over in one way or another since she was eighteen. He refused to be one more in a long list of assholes. Even if she thought he was the biggest asshole of all.

12

Lincoln

Lincoln looked at his watch while his foot tapped on the black marble floor of the restaurant. He’d asked Roxie to meet him for dinner when she called him after their meeting at the café. She’d talked to Aunt Katie and had agreed to dinner to discuss the outcome.

He was seated in a secluded section, per his request, but he could see the entrance and knew the moment she walked in. She was dressed in a black wraparound dress with black leather boots. Her hair, still black and purple, was curled around her shoulders in delicate waves. All in all, she was as beautiful, as tempting, as ever, but she wasn’t his anymore.

For a moment he wasn’t sure if it was the pain of loss or her beauty that stole his breath away. Never one to let his emotions run away with him, Lincoln got his mind and body back under control and stood up as the waiter brought her to the table to be seated.

“Good evening,” Roxie said and sat down across from him, her eyes barely touching on his before they moved away.

Her blue eyes were incredible, as always, but they would not meet his. She didn’t want to be here, that was obvious, but she’d come anyway. She always had been brave.

“Good evening, Roxie. How are you?” He answered once the waiter took her order for a glass of sparkling water.

“I’m fine, Lincoln.” Her eyes came up to his now, half defiant, half…defeated? No, that wasn’t the right word, he decided. Resigned perhaps, but not defeated. “I spoke with Aunt Katie. She and Lily will be on a flight tonight. She’d like to introduce Lily to you, before we go any further. Lily has a life in New York, after all, friends at school and lessons that she may not want to give up. I think we should allow her to decide whether she wants to live down here with you or stay in New York. In which case, you’d have to go back to New York permanently. There wouldn’t be much point in taking her from her life if you planned on staying down here while she’s up there. Would there?”

“I see your point, yes,” he conceded and clasped his hands together on the table between them. “If she wants to stay in New York does that mean you’d be moving back?”

“No, it doesn’t. I don’t have a life there anymore and I don’t think I’d have an easy time making contacts there. It took me years to build up the following that I have now, an older face on a fresh scene isn’t going to get much attention in my line of work.” She frowned at him, looked away, and put her hands together in her lap. “I would like to be near Lily, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to call New York home again after my parents’ deaths.”

“I understand.” It was an awkward conversation for two people who had been emotionally connected only a few weeks ago. He hated that things had turned out like this, but this was the situation they found themselves in. “Would you like to look at the menu?”

“Yeah, sure. Their plane won’t land until after 9 pm, so there’s time to kill.” Roxie picked up the black menu and started to read.

Lincoln watched her for a moment, pondering what to say or ask. There was only one real question he had. “Does she know she’s coming to meet me?”

“Not yet, I’ll explain it later when I go to pick her up.” Roxie’s face was so tight it looked like it might shatter if she moved any muscle around her mouth too much. “Let me have her for one more night? Please?”

“Sure, of course.” Lincoln wouldn’t have been so agreeable a few days ago, but now that he’d calmed down a little, he could be a little forgiving. “But I would like to meet her tomorrow.”

“Come by my place around lunchtime then. I’ll have had time to explain things to her by then.” Roxie put the menu down and brought her eyes up to his. “I owe her an explanation as much as I owed you one.”

“Alright.” Lincoln nodded, seeing her point. Even if he really hadn’t wanted to hear her explanation at the time, she had given him one. Lily deserved that too. “Just text me when you’re ready then.”

“I will.” She didn’t look pleased to be here, but who could blame her for that? She was in a position she couldn’t get out of.

They ate their dinner in silence, a dinner where Lincoln kept thinking about how he’d meet his daughter properly the next day. He finished eating, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and pushed his plate away. “You know, I always wanted to know who my father was.”

“I can imagine so,” Roxie replied, a slight frown marring her forehead.

“I used to ask my mom who he was, but she’d never tell me. My first stepfather definitely wasn’t my dad, he barely even acknowledged I existed. I called him Daddy a few times and he got so angry about it, shouted at me to tell me he wasn’t my father and I wasn’t to call him that. Every time my mother picked up a new man, I wondered if he was really my father and she’d gotten back together with him. And then she married June’s dad, and I couldn’t have had a better father. I wanted very much for him to be my dad. He tried at least, even if he wasn’t my real father.” Lincoln’s words tapered off, lost in thought. Roxie remained quiet and Lincoln finally picked up where he’d left off. “I think Mom thought that as long as I had a male role model, it didn’t matter if they were my blood relative or not. She didn’t get that I wanted to know that man, to see what my future might be, to... I don’t know, have a bond with him. She would brush off my questions and tell me that I didn’t need to know him.”

Lincoln’s words became heated as he continued to speak, the words and anger unacknowledged and unspoken for so long pouring out of him. “You can’t do the same thing to Lily, Roxie. You don’t understand how incomplete she’ll feel.”

Roxie, quiet until then, spoke up. Lincoln frowned, wondering what had brought the fire to her eyes and the blood to her cheeks. She leaned forward and spoke with a quiet hiss. “I think I know just how incomplete a person can feel without their parents, Lincoln.”

He had the good grace to look away then and felt shame as a sharp sting in his neck. Of course, she was right, she’d lost both of her parents. He wanted to point out that she’d known them, even for a short time, but that would be crass and cruel.

“Is there a problem?” A male voice asked. Lincoln looked up and immediately saw red.

Nick. Just great, the man that wanted Roxie for himself was here, barging in on their conversation. “No, there wasn’t until just now, actually.”

Nick’s eyes narrowed at Lincoln’s words, but he turned his back on Lincoln to face Roxie. “Shall I take you home, Roxie?”