Page 29 of Twisted Fate

“It is, I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” He waved off her concern, not ready to ask her to stay, to be his wife, to spend the rest of her life with him and only him. Well, he was ready, but she wasn’t, and he knew it.

“Such as?” She leaned forward to put her arms around her knees as she sat up, her head tilted to the left.

“Just, what the future holds for all of us.” He shrugged, knowing he should broach the subject more carefully, but the words had slipped from his tongue without him even thinking about them. “Where will we be next month, a year from now, ten years from now?”

“I don’t know, Logan.” She paused, looked down at her knees, covered in pink flannel, and frowned. “Everything’s upside down at the moment, isn’t it?”

“It is. And you haven’t really had time to recover from it all. Oh, I know it’s been eight weeks, but your body is still healing, as is your mind.” He paused, wondering if he’d overstepped his bounds. She didn’t protest, just looked at him with curiosity, so he went on. “Everything has changed for you. You’re a mother, but you can’t have any more children now and well, that has to be hard for you.”

“I guess it’s not an issue right now. I have three girls to take care of, more than I ever thought I’d have, you know? I wasn’t planning to have babies, not until it happened.” She paused this time, frowned deeper, but then looked up at him with clear eyes. “Maybe one day I’ll be sad over what happened, but my girls came out of it all. I can’t regret that.”

“I’m glad you feel that way.” He came to a stop, not sure what to say next. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here, you know?”

“I know, Logan, and thank you, but really, it’s not an issue at all right now. Like I said, maybe one day I’ll have time to sit down and regret not being able to have more children but right now, it’s more of a relief than anything. I can’t imagine going through all of that again, honestly.”

“Okay. Well, I guess you want to get back to your reading.” He got up and went to the door. “Good night, Keily.”

“Good night, Logan. Thanks for checking on me.” She smiled at him and for a second, he saw longing on her face, as if she didn’t want him to go. The look faded though, and he left her to her peace and quiet.

Another week or two, that’s what he’d give her, then he’d show her how much he wanted things to change for them. He’d show her he could be the man he should have been all along.

14

Keily

Keily woke up the next morning feeling as if she’d slept for a change. Avery, Logan, Rosa, and Violet were always around at different times to help out, but she’d worried about Zoe so much she’d been restless most nights. She’d watch over the two girls that were home with her on the worst nights, nights when Zoe was showing signs of distress or hadn’t had a good day, but she was healthy now and home.

And she could get out of bed without pain now, which was a minor miracle in itself. Keily threw her covers off and went to the bathroom to shower. Once she’d managed that and put on a slouchy dress, she went in to check on the girls. It was a habit she’d forced herself into when she got home from the hospital. The lactation consultant reinforced cleanliness, even when her first instincts were to pick up whichever baby was crying and feed them.

She settled into a chair once she’d checked on each girl and saw they were still asleep. As the sun began to rise in the sky, she pumped milk for Zoe and then went to pick up Zinnia. The happy baby waved her arms as her mommy picked her up. Keily couldn’t help but smile back at her daughter as she settled down with her in a rocking chair. Zinnia was still hungry by the time Keily heard Zara wake up.

Avery was there by then, ready to help, and picked up Zara to soothe her while she prepared a bottle for the baby. Logan came in and pulled Zoe up to bathe her and put fresh clothes and a diaper on her. He then sat down to feed her one of the bottles Avery handed to him. Keily watched him, as she’d done so many times since the babies were born.

Her hormones were still fluctuating but when he walked in a room they seemed to go into a rage, ready to tackle him and pull his clothes off. Every time he kissed one of their babies or picked them up or simply smiled at them, her body went into some kind of meltdown that melted into love mixed with desire. She’d thought she loved him before the babies came. Now? She couldn’t imagine loving him more than she did now.

What she’d felt before was nothing compared to how she felt about him now. He turned, catching her gaze as she stood up with Zinnia in her arms. His face was a mask of awe as he looked at her and she wondered, not for the first time, if Logan had changed as much as she had.

Two years ago, she wouldn’t have thought it possible to be caring for three babies at once, while dealing with the aftermath of a hysterectomy. Her uterus had suffered catastrophic bleeding that would have only been worse once the placenta was removed. She’d read since that day that the problem should have been picked up by ultrasound, but it hadn’t been. She was a little angry about that, but what she’d said to Logan was true, she had too much to worry about, too much to do, to think about the fact that she’d lost the ability to have more children.

Besides, her girls were enough. She’d never felt so maternal, didn’t think she could, until the day she had them. When the first baby was placed in her arms hormones flooded through her, taking away any twinges of pain, taking away thoughts of future pregnancies. She didn’t want to have more children anyway, if they weren’t Logan’s.

He’d been a rock throughout the whole ordeal, even though he’d never repeated those three little words she wasn’t even sure he’d actually said. Every now and then, she’d catch him looking at her as he’d just done, with something like awe and adoration on his face.

He kept saying he was proud of her, but she was prouder of him. He’d been there every step of the way, even staying with Zoe at the hospital when Keily was nearly on the verge of collapse. She’d tried to spread herself out, to spend as much time with the baby in the hospital and the babies at home and he’d finally insisted she stop overextending herself and let him help.

“They’re my children too, Keily, Zoe’s mine as much as she is yours. I want to be there with her, for her. Let me do this. I can do it, you know?” He’d brushed hair out of her face as she’d wept with exhaustion, wanting to sleep but not wanting to leave Zoe.

Until then she’d stayed, whether Logan was there or not, but after that, she let him take some of the load off of her shoulders. She’d relaxed a little and now, they were all home, safe and sound.

Maybe it was time to move on to other subjects, address other matters in their lives?

She smiled down at Zinnia as the baby splashed in her tiny infant tub and blew spit bubbles at her mommy. “You’re such a bad girl, Zinnia, just like your mommy.”

Keily stroked a hand down her daughter’s face, admiration and love alive in her eyes. Zinnia was her troublemaker, she could tell that already, the one that would talk the other two into doing naughty things they shouldn’t. The most like her, really, Keily thought with a silent laugh.

Rosa and Violet showed up a few hours later and Keily watched little Alice check each girl before she settled down to watch television on the couch in the nursery.

“How’s everything going?” Rosa asked as Logan left to get some work done in his home office.