Page 1 of Dark Rules

Emily

Had you ever wanted a hole to just open up and swallow you whole? How many times in your life had you thought that? Or read it? Even heard it, maybe? It’d been thought countless times, yet here I was, countless plus one. I had no idea what to do.

I’d had a secret lover, one my family didn’t know about. And my lover didn’t know who I was. If he knew, his perspective of me would have changed, because I was a Thompson. The only daughter of a man who commanded one of the most powerful, well-known hotel chains in the world.

Now a family-operated business, we had hotels that sprawled not only across America but the globe. We had money, power, and a fleet of cars, boats, and airplanes at our fingertips. I had never wanted for anything, in my entire life. If you didn't count respect and affection.

Which was part of the reason I’d had a secret lover. I didn’t want my family to know about him, and now that I knew who he was, I didn’t want him to know who I was. I just wanted a nice, uncomplicated relationship. One where I could have as much sex as I wanted to have and then move on, to live out the rest of my life in whatever way it worked out.

This mess, this infernal, laughable mess, wasn’t what I’d planned on. I’d put my phone down and stared at the walls until my eyes felt as if they were about to melt. It had been two hours since I’d met with my brother. Two hours in which I was supposed to ponder my future. Have the man of my dreams fuck me into jelly-legged silliness, while I lied to him, or throw it all away and hope my family never found out what I’d done.

I could, of course, always tell him who I really was. He’d seen my face now; if he’d happened to catch me in a picture with my brothers or father, he’d know who I was immediately. I had rarely allowed myself to be photographed, however, so that was a point in my favor. The problem was, I might be known in some of the circles the rather sexy Dylan James wanted to take me into.

We’d discussed new worlds, secret worlds, that he’d wanted to introduce me to. Worlds where powerful men met with even more powerful women, women who could bring a man to his knees, simply by getting on hers in an ultimately pretty pose of submission.

I’d wanted to take part in those worlds, with Dylan, but not if it meant drama that I could really live without. I’d had enough drama in my life with my brothers and their wives. And my father, when he bothered to come back. At first, when I’d told my brothers to find a nanny, I wasn’t on duty anymore, they hadn’t taken me seriously. Once I changed my phone number, they’d start to realize there was a real problem.

I’d wanted a life. Which brought me back to my original problem. Who should you choose when pleasure, lust, and adventure were in competition with family, hectic travel, bedtime stories, and diapers? I was conscious that I should have chosen my family, but Dylan was a temptation I could not throw away easily. Dylan was all mine, while they just wanted what I could provide them.

I’d remembered his eyes, those seductive gray eyes, and how they looked when he’d finally found his peak. Even now, I felt a twinge of need inside of me. I’d wanted him desperately; that was obvious, if I had to question where my loyalties rested in this whole scenario.

I’d thought about calling Roxie to get her opinion, but she was probably asleep or with Freddie. I couldn’t call Jesse, she was my sister in law now, and she wasn’t my best friend forever anymore. She belonged to Trent, and that made her off limits to me now. That had hurt a lot when it finally dawned on me, that she wasn’t going to be around for me as much anymore. Then they had children, and well, I’d been left alone.

I’d had no other adult friends until I met Roxie, and things changed for me. I started to see how much I’d given up for my family, and what I’d missed in life. They’d all had a chance to be wild, to make stupid decisions, and to make mistakes, the kind that made you smile, even though it shouldn’t. I’d never had that chance.

I’d been an adult from the moment I was born. As the baby of the family, I should have been spoiled, and in many ways I was. But then I’d hit puberty, and somehow, I’d become a nanny for my brothers. That hadn’t changed, even when they had their children.

Now, I had Dylan. I didn’t feel so alone anymore, even if the time we had together was meant to be short. Two weeks, that was what he’d offered me. Two weeks that would change my life, give me memories to pull out on the loneliest of nights, when I couldn’t escape the boredom my life had turned out to be.

With a deep sigh, I’d got up from the couch I’d found myself on and went to the large window in the living room. My view wasn’t that great, but I could see that it was getting dark outside. I had to make a decision soon.

Dylan was waiting for me to call.

I knew I couldn’t say no to him. We’d only had a short time together, but I knew already that he was what I’d always wanted. Even if I had only allowed the contemplation of what I wanted in the darkest hours of the night. Dylan checked all the boxes perfectly.

My family would have to deal with it, if they’d ever found out. And really, there wasn’t a reason why they should find out. If I wore my mask when we were somewhere that I didn’t want to be seen, nobody would know it was me. If we went out somewhere more public, where masks weren’t acceptable, then I’d have to hope I didn’t see anyone who might know my brothers or my family.

It was a risk, but it was necessary to live the fantasy we’d created for each other. We had to be seen in public, the master and his subordinate. I had to be seen to be subservient to him. And he had to be the master, the one who ruled my pleasure.

I’d lost myself in the memories we’d already made and wondered what else he might have in store for me. Gentle moments mixed with rough, that night he began to teach me how to listen to his wishes, the way he’d told me not to come, and I’d obeyed. I didn’t know how I’d done it, but I had. I’d waited until he’d allowed me that bliss, and then it was almost too excruciatingly good.

I’d wanted more of that. I’d wanted to be wrung dry, and I knew with those skillful hands of his that Dylan could do it. I’d picked up the contract and signed it with a flourish. I would be his for two more weeks. Then I’d walk away and leave him in the past. I’d go back to my life here at the house I’d rented and find a place for myself in the world.

My family didn’t realize it yet, but I was done being the nanny/little sister that did as she was told. I was ready to find a life and spread my wings. If I failed, I had a nest egg many would only dream about falling back on. Financial security wasn’t the point, however; the point was that I could live my own life and be a real person.

I loved my nieces and nephews, but that didn’t mean I had to be a servant to them. They were children, so they didn’t see me that way, but their parents obviously did. Sometimes, in secret moments, I was the most angry at Jesse. She’d been my friend since we were little girls. She’d always had a crush on Trent, but that had ended our friendship.

Then she finally got the man she’d always wanted, and she’d left me behind like an old teddy bear you’d outgrow as you grew up. I would never berate her for it; I couldn’t blame her for taking the happiness she now had. I could, secretly, ache to have my friend back.

Something else that was impossible, I reminded myself and went into the kitchen. I took out a bottle of red wine from the fridge and poured a small glass. I sipped at the sweet red and enjoyed the burst of flavors on my tongue.

It reminded me of tasting Dylan’s, well, who knew it? I could blush even in the privacy of my own home. I laughed at myself and turned on the music system that played through hidden speakers all over the house. Neil Young’s Harvest Moon began to play, a song my mother would play for me when I was little, while my father was away on a business trip that never quite ended.

I danced through the house and tried to remember to be happy. I’d just signed my life away to a man who could really hurt me, in more ways than the obvious. I could come off as cold, robotic even sometimes, but that was a defensive mechanism I’d learned a long time ago. If people didn’t want to talk to you but were forced to, the coldness you met them with could make the ordeal less burdensome. Get it over with and move on, that had been my motto as a Thompson child.

It had carried me though life well, and it would get me through whatever Dylan had in store for me. Part of the point of our little adventure, though, was that he’d break that wall down that I’d put in place over and over again, until he found the real me. My heart pounded as I thought about it, and anticipation raced through my veins. He would give me everything I’d wanted. Sexually, at least, Dylan would give me total fulfillment.

I’d never have to wonder what it felt like again. Sex and completion were things I’d savored now. They were familiar, and I wouldn’t have to wonder what sensations made women make those faces, those sounds. I knew what pleasure felt like, I’d enjoyed a good chocolate cake, and I knew what it felt like to get something that you wanted, but I’d never known what those sensations were from a sexual standpoint.