Page 27 of Dark Secret

“Hi, babe. Thank you for taking care of me yesterday,” he said as soon as I walked in. “I bet your beat!”

“I’m alright. How are you?” I snuggled into this side, and he pulled me in close. It was incredible how much this felt like home. Here, against him, was my home now.

“What are you plans for the day?” he asked, and I leaned back to look at him.

“I have a function to go to around lunch for the charity, and I need to go and check my mail, see if the house has been ransacked. I need to pick up a few things there too.”

“Okay. Well, I’m going to be around here if you need me. My back is better, but I’m not sure I can manage a lot of walking around today. You okay by yourself?” He kissed my forehead, and I grinned.

“Of course, I am. I always am. I’ll probably be gone most of the day, so if you need to have a meeting here, don’t worry that I’ll interrupt.”

“Alright. Keep your phone charged. I might need you.”

“I will, don’t you worry.” I kissed him on the cheek, got up, and went to have a shower. I was glad he was feeling better, but at the same time, couldn’t help but wonder if he was really better. I knew Dylan enough to know the man had a will made of iron, and he was likely just pushing himself to get up.

He wouldn’t let someone wait on him for long, I knew that much. That was probably a good thing, I decided as I dressed a little while later. Whatever was wrong with him, he wouldn’t complain about it for long.

I dried my hair, dressed, did my face, and left to head to my home first. I needed some papers from there and gathered my mail. I’d go through that later this evening, before I went up to see Dylan. I couldn’t take the mail in because he’d see my real name, and down in the parking garage, I could throw away what I didn’t need to keep so he wouldn’t see it.

By the time I made it to the charity event, a luncheon for local women getting back on their feet, I was focused on what I needed to do. I’d donated a large sum of money to the group and wanted to see how things were working out. Some of the women had needed money for new work clothes and clothes to go to an interview, others needed a grant for babysitting, and others had used some of the money to take classes. Each one was flourishing, but I spotted one off to herself.

I hadn’t dressed too swanky, a pair of slacks and a soft white sweater seemed like a comfortable and neutral choice.

“Why are you off to yourself over here, Melissa?” I asked the woman with curly dark hair. Around my age, she had been homeless six months ago, but now, she had a home, a job, and a direction to head in.

“I knew you’d be busy with the others, I didn’t want to intrude.” She was also very shy, this pretty young woman.

“Melissa! Don’t be silly. Tell me how you are!” I smiled at her and pulled her down to a table for a chat.

“I’m good, Emily. Really good. I can’t thank you enough. Really.” Her smile was as bright as the morning sun, and I felt pride in making sure that smile beamed once again.

“I’m glad to have helped, Melissa. Now come on, stop being so shy, and make some friends.”

I pulled her into the group of other women, and before long, she was smiling and laughing, just like the rest. This was why I hadn’t totally let my responsibilities go. People depended on me and needed me. I could lose myself in Dylan, but I would always have one foot on the ground for this. It was vital, and I knew I could never let them down.

Dylan

Symptoms that was all it was. I reminded myself of that as my lawyer left the apartment. The deal was almost done, and I’d had to sign a few other papers for the business, so he’d come to pay me a visit. I shut the door, my hand gripped at the spot that ached on my back. It felt as if the muscle was hard spasm and wouldn’t loosen.

I’d gritted my teeth to get out of bed early that morning and make some coffee, but I’d managed it. The doctor I’d seen a few months ago had said things would probably get bad, but I hadn’t known it would hurt like this. The good news was, if I kept on the medication and exercised, then I could hold it off. Most of the time.

I went to the couch and sank down; a sigh of relief escaped my lips as I did so. It hurt so much less when I sat. I’d enjoyed Stephanie’s brand of nursing and thought how nice it would be if I needed her to care for me again in the future. Not that I’d wish that on her, but if I needed it, I knew she’d be there. She’d still be here today if I hadn’t pretended to be perfectly fine.

A new twinge of pain reminded me that love was pain, and pain came with love. Which made me cringe, poetry? That was where I was now? Poetic thoughts?

I found a show on Netflix and turned it on, but time after time, my thoughts turned to the incredible woman I now called mine. I’d really liked how she’d been with me. Would she always be that way? Kind, gentle, and caring? She’d even made my favorite soup, when I told her about it.

I could have it all, maybe. If I played this right. A beautiful resort here in South Carolina, a beautiful woman by my side, and something I’d never had from a woman before. Romantic love.

Alright, so that last part was my own fault. It wasn’t that I blamed a woman for not loving me, but I’d built walls around my heart. Miss Stephanie had just smiled them all down was the problem. That smile of hers was infectious. It had been like a virus that infiltrated my heart and had slowly torn pieces out of that wall, until it was gone.

All that was left for me to do was to admit to myself that what I felt for her was far more than lust, or even affection. I cared for her. Deeply.

That shook me, as it always did, when I allowed myself to think about it. I wasn’t the kind…

“It seems I am,” I said to the empty room.

This could be my life, I thought: empty rooms, depressing quiet, and loneliness, if I played it all wrong. Or it could be the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. Could I keep without losing my heart, though?