Page 21 of Dark Secret

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Life had become good since we’d come back from New Orleans. Something had really changed down there. Dylan mostly, I thought. He was sweeter, the way he made love to me was softer, and even when he took me to his special room; he was gentler and focused only on my pleasure.

He was a softer man, to me at least, and it was melting my heart. When he came home from a day out, or even if he’d only gone for some shopping, he’d always bring me something back with him. A box of chocolates from a shop he’d found, or a trinket of some kind. He’d brought me a dress from an antique shop he’d come across one day, a rather breathtaking black velvet dress that was a timeless masterpiece. I didn’t know when I’d wear it, but I’d wear it for him if an occasion didn’t come along.

He’d suddenly turned into a boyfriend, and that made me nervous. He’d mentioned the contracts again last night. I’d pretended to be asleep, but I’d heard what he’d said.

“I’ll take you back to New Orleans in a couple of weeks. We’ll have a contract then, and maybe we’ll have to amend it a little. If you’ve thought about that couples’ offer.”

When I didn’t answer, he turned his light off and curled around me. I couldn’t avoid it for long, though, and I knew it. We were both in trouble now. I knew why he’d wanted a contract now. Or I thought I did. I’d been willing to sign a new one, when I came to him, but he’d accepted my offer.

Now, I just wanted to avoid the whole conversation. I knew why he’d wanted it, that didn’t mean I liked it. I didn’t like it at all. The problem was, I seemed to be the only one who didn’t understand why it wasn’t a big deal.

Even Roxie had started to get a bit ticked off with me about it. “Just sign the damn thing and be done, Emily.”

That was what she’d said later that day, when we’d met for lunch.

“Get over your fears and sign the contract. You’re his sub, you do get that, right?”

“That’s it though, I don’t think I am. Not anymore. I think I’m something different. Oh, I’ll get down on my knees and do what he asks when it comes to sex, but outside of that, there isn’t much domination going on.”

“Really?” She was curious, I couldn’t fault her for that. Dylan was an anomaly. A dominant who had veered into a boyfriend. The fact that we’d met at the club made our relationship odd too. Then there was the fact that he still had no clue who I was.

“Really.” Not that I was complaining about it, I was just being honest. “He doesn’t seem to be anything like I had imagined he would be.”

Oh, he could still be dominant during sex, and he was always an Alpha, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t also caring, kind, and even gentle at times. I sighed heavily and looked away. I saw Jesse, my sister-in-law, heading into a restaurant across from the one we were at, and tensed up.

“What’s wrong?” Roxie looked around, ready to beat down whoever had upset me.

“Nothing, just my sister-in-law. I was worried Trent would be with her.”

“No change on that front either, then, huh?” She looked at me with sympathy, but I brushed it aside with a smile.

“No, it’s probably for the best. There’s no way I’d give up Dylan now.” Although, I did wonder if Jesse had seen me and pretended she hadn’t, or if she really hadn’t seen me at all. She used to be my best friend.

Another deep sigh and I finished my tea. “Let’s go get our nails done, my lovely friend. I can’t sit here anymore.”

We’d finished our lunch and had agreed to go together to get the chore over with. I chose a pale pink with glitter that looked as if it was suspended in glass over top, after the gel was set and polished up with a topcoat. Roxie chose an emerald green and much longer nails.

“What are you doing with your free time now, Em?” she asked as we walked to a coffee shop for one final chat.

“I’m writing a book. A children’s story, actually.” It was something I’d started when we came back from New Orleans, and I’d watched a small boy playing with a puppy. The boy had reminded me of my nephews and had made me miss them. I’d found that writing a story for them helped ease the pain of not seeing them.

“Oh that sounds fun!” She looked at me with excitement. I thought she’d been teasing me, but she wasn’t.

“It’s interesting. I have a whole series planned, and I’m trying to decide whether to make it for small children or for bigger children reading longer stories, without pictures. If I’m going to make it for young children, it will need pictures, and I’ll have to find an artist.” I carried on for a little while longer, and Roxie encouraged me to keep the project up.

Which was another reason I really loved that woman. She’d always encouraged me to reach for my happiness, and she’d helped me get that in more ways than one. I’d thought about that as I finally drove away and headed to Dylan’s place. She’d told me to just sign the contract. I knew I should, but something irked me about it.

It was more than my bratty nature. There was something about the idea of signing the contract that made me feel like we were taking a step backward. We’d moved past that point in our relationship; I thought I’d shown him that in the last few days. If he was already talking about it, and we had four days left, then he had every intention of bringing it up again.

Did he want to take a step back? I’d imagined Mr. No-Relationships probably did, but I wasn’t prepared to do that. I cared about him, I cared about him deeply, and I wanted this to go further. Maybe not marriage, kids, and a home in the Hamptons kind of further, not right now, but definitely a let’s only fuck each other and agree that we sleep together at night without a contract, kind of further.

I didn’t need Dylan to tell me he loved me and declare his undying devotion, but no more talks about contracts would be nice. Just a normal relationship. Even if that wasn't what I’d said I’d wanted all those weeks ago.

Dylan had shown me far more than the fact that my body loved sex; he’d shown me that I’d had an emptiness in my life. An emptiness that I suspected only he could fill. I drove to his place with urgency, making me impatient. My body did love sex with the man after all.

“Hi, babe. Do you want to go out for dinner, or shall we cook?” he asked as I stepped into the apartment. He’d just come out of the shower. Mmm.