Page 65 of Mr. Principal

Chapter Eleven

“Mom, check this out. I can do a cartwheel,” Meredith said as she quickly executed the perfect cartwheel.

“Good job,” I said, reaching out to high-five her. “You’re so awesome.”

“So are you,” she said as she started doing cartwheels across the yard. I sat there and watched her and just felt insanely grateful about how things had turned out.

I retained primary custody of Meredith. Tom hadn’t gotten what he wanted. We were still on an every other weekend and one day a week schedule. The judge had also made us attend a mediation class which had made Tom angry, but ultimately had been good for the both of us. We’d pretty much come to an agreement to mind our own business. I wouldn’t interfere in his life and he wouldn’t interfere in mine.

My lawyer had been awesome, the perfect advocate. If it wasn’t for her, I’m sure Tom’s fancy lawyer would have torn me to pieces.

I had Carter to thank but he still wasn’t speaking to me. It had been three months since he’d come by Piper’s house to see me.

If it hadn’t been for his stepmom acting as my attorney pro-bono, I don’t know what I would have done. She had called me that same day when Carter walked out of my life and even though I’d been a mess emotionally, I’d managed to keep it together long enough to tell her the situation. She had readily agreed to help. It had been like a weight being lifted off my shoulder.

But I didn’t feel so light now. I felt lonely and sad. I missed Carter so much. I thought about him literally every night. I found myself daydreaming at my job, wondering what he was doing and if he missed me too.

I didn’t see him anymore when I dropped Meredith off at school and Meredith had sadly informed me that he had resigned. Piper told me that he was looking for a position elsewhere. I knew I was partially responsible for that. Maybe fully responsible.

He didn’t want anything to do with me, so he was going out of his way to make sure he didn’t have to see me, even if that meant letting go of a job he loved.

When I’d heard, I’d felt so guilty. I’d summoned the courage to call him to tell him how sorry I was, but he never answered. All my calls went straight to voicemail.

So, I just went through the motions, glad that he had cared enough about me, even after I’d rejected him, to get me a lawyer, but at the same time so upset that he wasn’t talking to me and it seemed he never planned to again.

I felt like I was missing a part of myself. I didn’t know what to do. I’d shed quite a few tears and I missed him with my whole heart. I sent emails, made phone calls, left messages with Piper to deliver to him, but there was nothing but silence.

But what had I expected? He’d loved me and had been loyal to me since we first met, but how had I treated that love? And how many times had I pushed him away? I was good at hurting him and I didn’t blame him for not wanting to be around me anymore. I was toxic.

He’d only ever shown me love and friendship and what had I offered to him in return? Drama. Shame. More drama.

I guess I spent a bit too much time feeling sorry for myself because suddenly Meredith was sitting next to me looking at me inquiringly.

“You miss him, don’t you?” she said softly.

I knew it would be useless to be coy. There was no fooling Meredith and it was about time that I was honest with how I was feeling instead of pretending everything was fine.

“I miss him a lot,” I said simply.

“Why don’t you call him?”

“He doesn’t want to speak to me. I tried calling him.”

She frowned. “What did you do? Why is he angry with you? Did you yell at him for beating up Daddy?”

I nodded. “Kind of. And I told him that I didn’t want him around.”

She gasped. “Why’d you do that?”

I shrugged and then sighed deeply. “I don’t know. I was upset and emotional. And he had beat up your father—”

“Well, Dad did dump you in the bushes, so he did deserve to get punched in the face.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.

“Principal K, I mean Carter, would never dump you in the bushes, he loves you too much.”

“Loved. I’m sure he doesn’t love me anymore.”