Page 15 of Jocked Up

“You left me at eighteen with no goodbye, nothing. You just left. Then you left my son and I. Remember my son? The one you promised to coach?”

“I couldn’t help that and I did tell them I wouldn’t be able to stay the whole season. I bought them a lot of equipment and, well, yeah, it was shitty of me to leave wasn’t it? And about that time when we were young, yes, I was a total bastard. I was totally stupid. I really was. Bethany, please, give me a chance to prove that I can do this?” He pleaded with me and I wanted to give in but I couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, Drake, it’s just not going to work. I can’t afford to rely on you, you just aren’t very reliable. That’s not a chance I’m willing to take with a child.” I sighed and got up, needing to get out of the hard seat and cram my fists into my back.

“Please, Bethany! You don’t think a child would change me? Knowing I’ve created another human being has already changed me and I’ve only known for sure for a few minutes now. When I saw that picture I suspected, you’re not the kind that sleeps around so I all but knew it was mine. And something in me clicked, Bethany, something that’s been wound tight inside of me all of my life let go and the world was suddenly right. Please, Bethany, you grew up without a mother and me without a father. Even if we can’t work it out together in a relationship, let me have one with this child.”

Oh dear, the tears were flowing by the time he finished. How could I say no? Maybe being pregnant made me emotionally weak or perhaps his words just truly touched me, either way, my heart melted. He hadn’t lied to me about the fiancée, he’d never had one, I’d just jumped the gun and, actually, I’d been the one that walked away that time. I’d been wrong.

“Maybe.” I began but he wouldn’t let me finish.

“I swear Bethany, I swear to you now, this baby will be all that matters to me. From the moment it is born, it will be my world.”

“She. It’s a girl.” I gave him a wobbly smile and took his hand. She was kicking me again; it had started as soon as he’d begun his speech. She wanted her daddy it seemed.

“A girl.” He breathed the words, his face a picture of pride. “A girl!”

“Yes, I’m kind of glad. One of each now.” I spoke with my own pride.

“You’ll let me prove I can be a good father?” He asked, his voice hopeful as he stood with me in the kitchen.

“You can try. But the first time you let us down, Drake, that’s it. I’m not having my children hurt.” I stared daggers into his beautiful happy eyes. They beamed back assurance.

“I’ll give you the moon Bethany, I swear it to all of you.” He pulled me to him in a hug that I’d longed for but wouldn’t allow myself to acknowledge.

In a moment the world had changed, Drake hadn’t betrayed me a second time, I’d betrayed myself. And he was here, promising to care for us. He’d flown across the country, blown off the meetings and interviews he had, and come to me to find out if he was going to be a father or not. That had to mean something. To me, it meant he wanted this. I had to believe he was being honest and that this is what he truly wanted.

Call me weak, call me stupid, but I’d longed for him in my darkest hours, I’d secretly hoped for some resolution, but I’d carry on by myself if it came down to it. I’d let him have his chance but he’d better not mess up. There’d be no more chances after this.

For now, I knew that it was my own stupidity that had been the problem this time, not him at all. I wanted to take things slow because I didn’t even know what his favorite color was for crying out loud, but oh my, those jeans of his.

“Do you know how adorable you are? I can’t believe you have my baby in there.” His hands went to my tummy, covered in a long, dark blue maternity top made from soft cotton, and the top of my maternity jeans. I held my breath and in that moment, I knew this wasn’t going to go the way I planned, especially when our eyes met and I saw the wonder in his eyes, the pride beaming from the dark grey orbs.

“She’s our baby, actually.” I said with a small laugh as he took my hand.

“Let’s go in the living room. I need to sit down. I know you’ve had six months to get used to this idea but I haven’t. Wow.” He helped me to sit, though I’d become used to it by now, and took a spot beside of me. “So she’s healthy? No problems I should be aware of?”

“No, she’s fine, showing all signs of being healthy and growing away.” I told him with a happy but nervous smile. I had no idea where this was leading, I had an idea that sex might be involved but wasn’t sure.

“And you’re alright? No high blood pressure or anything?” He looked concerned and I patted his hand to reassure him.

“All is well, Drake, I promise.”

“Right. So when should we get married?” He looked anxious but determined.

“What?” My eyes had gone round and I was trying not to laugh. I wasn’t marrying him!

“When should we get married? I think we should do it right away, before the baby is born so she can have my name.” He really was serious!

“Oh, we don’t have to get married for that, Drake! I’m sorry but I’m not in the mood for marrying just now. I appreciate you offering but no, I don’t want to get married, not now anyway.”

“Oh. Later then?” Oh my god, he was serious. Maybe he really had changed in an instant.

“Maybe. For now, don’t you think we should relearn about each other? Find out if we’re even compatible for marriage?” I looked at him with a gentle smile and soft titter of laughter, hoping to ease the sting of it all. It wasn’t every day a man like Drake offered marriage, I didn’t want him to think I was being cruel.

“Ah, yes, I see your point.” He laughed at himself then. “I’m just nervous and I want to do this right, Bethany. I’m serious, I want to give all of you, you, Peter, and the baby, the world on a platter. I was already changing when I came back that last time, I was thinking of settling down, starting a family, getting some permanency in my life, you know?”

“Right. That’s why you bought the house then?” Had he been thinking of all of that with me, then? Is that why he’d asked me out?