Page 70 of Sapphire Seas

“The part that makes me sad is that I feel like I proved, yet again, why you should have been given a stronger mate. One better suited to…everything, really, but especially this. In the end, I couldn’t do it. I failed. If it wasn’t for Raven, we might have lost our boys.

“Kes.”

“No. Don’t Kes me. I’m half blind. What if I lose track of one, or misjudge the distance and can’t catch one of them in time to keep them from hurting themselves? I still misjudge some of the doorways when I go through them. What if that happens when I’m carrying one of the dragonets and they hit the wall instead of me hitting it? I’m going to mess it all up and they are going to hate me, then you guys will start hating me and…”

Never, for any reason, would I harm, nor hate, one of my mates, but words right now weren’t going too convince him of that. Kes was spiraling, I could feel it and knew it stemmed from what had been done to him by Daigle’s claws. Since the first time he’d referred to himself as defective in my presence, I’d wanted to erase that word from his vocabulary. Today, I dragged my fingers though his long hair, grabbed a fistful of it, wrenched his head back, and slammed my lips over his.

Savage.

Brutal.

I could tell how deep into his self-deprecating thoughts he’d dove by the fact that it took him several heartbeats before his rigid body relaxed and he kissed back.

You are never to say that to me again. I admonished. You are never to say that where are our dragonets can hear you and you are never to say it to Caspian either. I don’t want to hear that you said it to one of my brothers, or Upalo, or Canyon, or, or anyone, do you understand me?

Why when its…

I kissed him again.

Stole his breath, his words, and hopefully his thoughts so he’d stop spouting that nonsense.

It’s not true. I doubt those bastards who snatched you from your home ever spoke a single word of truth to you the entire time they had you. Lies were how they controlled you. Bullying. Full grown dragons picking on dragonets and teenagers so you’d be afraid to leave. So you’d rely on them. So you’d believe you were too weak to stand on your own and would remain with them despite the way they mistreated you.

But look at what….

Silence!

This kiss was softer. I had his attention, now I just had to hold on to it until he was in a better frame of mind.

Somewhere in the slow, lazy kiss we shared, I tasted tears and felt his body quiver as his anxiety level decreased by slow, steady increments.

That’s right, you listen to me, not the echo of their voices still tumbling around in your mind and not the evil voice in the back of your head either, because he can be a bastard sometimes.

Kes whimpered, half sob, half groan, but his anxiety kept melting, which is what I’d been aiming for.

Watching him struggle to deliver our egg, had tested my control beyond measure. He’d given everything he had in him to try to bring our boys into the world, the egg had just been so big he’d required help was all.

Sweetheart, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Raven using magic to aid in delivering your egg is no different from humans undergoing a cesarean in order to safely deliver a child. It does not mean you are defective nor does it mean that you won’t be able to care for the dragonets. Kes, is that why you asked to have your name put back on the patrol schedule?

I thought that if I took more of them, you’d be able to stay home with Caspian and the dragonets.

Kes….

Suddenly I was at a loss for words, a lump forming in my throat and we were speaking mind to mind, for fuck’s sake, yet I’d been reduced to silence by his selfless act. Even with a whirlpool of emotions threatening to drag him under and drown him, Kes’ thoughts had been for me and Caspian. Holding him tight against my body, his back against my chest, my fingers spayed over his heart, I pressed my nose to his hair and inhaled.

He always smelled like snow but his heart was like a supernova.

You weren’t the first of the protector’s mates to need help birthing an egg, I told him. Alex’s double egg required Raven’s intervention, despite him already birthing Griffin and Luna’s eggs. Think about that for a moment, Kes. Please. Would you consider that to be a failure?

I still didn’t have words to respond to what he’d just told me about why he’d offered to take patrols so soon after delivering our egg. Yes, I was expected to resume mine, but Ionus never would have asked that of an omega who’d just given birth, so I’d known from the moment I’d learned of it, that Kes had to have volunteered. Now that I was starting to get a sense of why, I wanted his name off the list.

No.

That wasn’t entirely true.

He was a trained warrior. If he’d chosen that path, then by all means, he should feel free to continue his lessons on the pitch and stand in defense of Dragon City, but if this life had been forced on him by circumstances, or worse, because he believed that he was expendable, then no.

Absolutely not.