Page 21 of To Win Her Affections

“That is not what I meant,” said Elizabeth, though to own the truth she was not even certain of her own mind.

A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “Is it not?”

Mr. Darcy squared his shoulders and pushed his clear distress away. “Miss Bennet, I believe clarity is preferable to restraint in this instance—would you not agree?”

“That depends, Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth, allowing a little humor into her voice. “Is this something I should fear?”

The jest seemed to ease something in him, though he still appeared wary. “No, not fear. I simply wish to ensure we understand each other.”

“Very well,” said Elizabeth, nodding. “Please proceed.”

“It is only this,” said Mr. Darcy. “When I came across you at Pemberley, the difference in your behavior struck me, such that I thought I could proceed, show my better nature, prove that I had taken your reproofs to heart. It was on my mind to move slowly, to allow you the time to know your heart, to see if you could come to esteem me the way I esteem you.”

The gentleman’s expression softened. “But I would do nothing to make you uncomfortable. If you do not favor me and do not think that will ever change, you need only say so, and I shall desist.”

That Mr. Darcy would be so blunt as this shocked Elizabeth anew, though after a moment’s thought she supposed she should not have been surprised. The gentleman had done everything short of declaring himself, and had almost done so before her aunt and uncle only moments before. It could be no surprise he was reconsidering based on her response.

What struck Elizabeth more than anything else was his earnest promise that he would desist if she wished. Perhaps even more important was the notion that Mr. Darcy still hoped to proceed despite her previous rejection, especially considering the vehemence with which she had rejected him before. That thought made her respond before she could understand the implications.

“I am not so opposed to you, Mr. Darcy.”

It was clear she caught him by surprise. Unless she missed her guess, Mr. Darcy had expected another rejection. The slow grin that spread across his face was all the more appealing because Elizabeth knew she had provoked it. It also made her think he should do it more often, for it became him.

Carefully, Mr. Darcy stepped forward and took her hand, though he did nothing more than hold it. When he spoke, Elizabeth felt the first stirring in her heart at the tenderness in his voice.

“Thank you, Miss Bennet. Perhaps I do not deserve clemency, but I am grateful for it nonetheless.”

“Not at all, Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth. “It occurs to me that we have spent our entire acquaintance misunderstanding each other. Is it not better for us to rectify that deficiency?”

“It is, indeed, Miss Bennet,” replied Mr. Darcy. “I could not have stated it any better myself.”

Elizabeth nodded. The emotion of the moment filled her heart with a sensation she did not think she had ever experienced before, yet she felt the need to distance herself from it, to let it rest until she could contemplate it in private. Then she remembered that Mr. Darcy said he had a matter he wished to discuss with her.

“Perhaps we should return to the reason for your presence this morning,” said Elizabeth. “I cannot suppose this is what you wished to discuss.”

The gentleman nodded and guided her to a sofa, turning to her when they were seated.

“No, I did not wish to speak of such things, though I cannot count our improved understanding as anything other than a blessing.” The gentleman paused, then said: “My purpose today was to speak of Bingley and your sister.”

“Oh?” asked Elizabeth, curious about his meaning.

Mr. Darcy nodded. “I have alluded to it before, but I owe my friend an apology. While I did not conspire with Bingley’s sisters, I knew of your sister’s presence in London and did not tell him.”

Understanding filled Elizabeth. “You mean to tell him.”

“Yes,” agreed Mr. Darcy. “Yet I do not wish to tell him the truth without knowing whether your sister would welcome his return.”

“You wish for my assurances,” said Elizabeth.

“I do,” replied the gentleman. “Though I had some thought of waiting until we returned to Hertfordshire and observing your sister for myself, I do not suppose that is fair to my friend.”

Mr. Darcy paused, grinned, and added: “I do not wish to tell him the truth without knowing whether your sister would welcome his return—he will learn the truth before long, I think, and when he does, my confession will no longer wait. If you give me your assurances about your sister’s willingness to receive him, then I shall confess to Bingley.”

Elizabeth nodded, though she considered her response before replying. It would not do to misspeak now, even when she understood the truth about Jane’s sentiments.

“Let me offer what I can, Mr. Darcy,” said she, giving him a frank look. “I do not know the full contents of my sister’s heart. Jane is most reserved, even with me, her closest sister. I shall not presume to speak for her.

“However, I have witnessed Jane’s behavior since November and heard her speak on the subject enough to know that Jane esteems Mr. Bingley very much. While I cannot offer you a guarantee, I cannot imagine that Jane would reject your friend if he presented himself to her.”