Page 9 of Home Is Where You Are

“You can’t hog her all to yourself, Lillian,” my dad, Sawyer, said with the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face. My daddy. More tears fell as I took in the sight of him. I was completely overcome with emotion at seeing him and hearing his voice. My lip quivered as I tried to rein the emotions in.

I walked into the arms of my daddy. He still smelled of pine chips, the way he’d always smelled when I was growing up. He ran his fingers through my hair, the same way he had when I was a child.

“Your mother’s right, you know,” he whispered.

“I heard that, you old goofball, and I won’t forget you said it either.” My mother smacked him playfully on the shoulder.

“Oh, hush. You can’t hold that against me. I just meant she wasn’t allowed to stay gone again.”

Oh, Daddy.

I loved the playful banter that my parents always had. I couldn’t ever recall a time when I’d seen them angry. They were always laughing and kidding with each other. I wanted a love like that. I had a love like that with Gentry, and I let it slip through the cracks because I wasn’t strong enough to stay.

“Alright, you two. We’ve given you enough time to hog her. It’s our turn,” Brooks, my oldest brother, said.

Peeking around my dad, I noticed all three of my brothers standing side by side with their arms crossed over their chests. They weren’t happy when I up and left. I hadn’t told any of them my plans, only my parents. I knew I was in for it, but I couldn’t hide behind our father forever. Facing them now was my only option. My mom told me during one of the daily conversations that all three of them had moved into a house of their own a few months after I’d left.

Growing up with three brothers was entertaining and hard all at the same time. Brooks was the oldest, then Leo, Holden, and me. Brooks was now twenty-eight, Leo was twenty-six, and Holden was twenty-three. I was the baby out of the four of us and got my way often because I was the only girl of the bunch. But they did their brotherly duties over the years and made sure I was as tough as nails. They were even more protective than most brothers I knew, and I loved and hated them for it my entire life.

Before I entered the house, I reached up and touched the sign. The simplest of actions I’d done thousands of times, but one that almost caused me to break.

On shaky legs, I crossed the threshold and walked inside.

I didn’t know which one to go to first. They all looked scary as they stood there, but Leo was probably my safest bet. He was the softy out of the three. But I wasn’t raised to be a chicken. So instead of taking the safest choice, I chose the hardest. Holden. He took my leaving the hardest because we were the closest. He stood in the middle of them, and I walked right up to him, waiting for him to look me in the eyes.

Only he wouldn’t. He looked at the floor instead.

“I missed you, Holden,” I whispered before I placed my arms around his waist. He remained unmoving for the longest time before he finally hugged me in return.

His strong hold pulled me closer to him, and I almost couldn’t breathe with how tight he held me. He didn’t say anything. His reaction was all I needed to break down even more than I had with my mother. I cried into his flannel shirt and drenched the material. I felt his tears drip onto my cotton shirt, but I held him close.

Minutes later he pulled back, but didn’t remove his hands from behind my back.

“You killed me by being away for so long,” he bit out, a scowl marring his face.

“I know,” was all I could manage to say. Even though we talked when time would allow, I could tell how angry he was every time I made up excuses for not coming home.

“I’m still angry at you for leaving.”

All I could do was repeat that I knew. I didn’t know what else to say. I was worried too much time had passed, and we couldn’t reconcile our relationship.

“But having you here now, I’ll try and get over it,” he confessed as he let me go. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I had a long road ahead of me to mend our relationship.

I moved over to Leo next, and he wrapped me in his arms, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around. I couldn’t contain the laughter that escaped. This was Leo, though. He didn’t handle emotion very well. He hated seeing anyone upset, and oftentimes when we were younger, he’d give me my way just to dry my tears.

“Dry those tears, sis. You’re home now.” He laughed as he put me down.

I wiped the tears from my face and nodded. I felt like such a fraud, but seeing them happy in this moment, I kept the truth inside.

Brooks stepped forward and pulled me from Leo’s grasp and gave me a hug, almost squeezing too tight.

“Squirt, you’re never leaving again. We won’t let you next time you get a wild hair up your behind. It wasn’t the same here without you,” Brooks said, and I knew he meant every word. It took a lot for my parents to convince them not to chase after me and bring me back home where they all agreed I belonged.

All three of them crowded around me, like they’d done so many times in the past, caging me between them. They put their arms on each other’s shoulders and stepped closer, huddling us together the same way players did in football when they were giving the next play.

“I’m so happy to see y’all again,” I admitted, my throat clogged with emotion.

We were the Courtright siblings, and together we were unstoppable. I just hoped they all could help me in the one and only task I had in mind. I needed them to help me steer clear of Gentry as much as possible. And when the time was right, I’d need their help in breaking the news to my parents about me leaving here.