Page 101 of The Cheerleader

When I get there, I pull my jacket off then search my closet for my only T-shirt that’s not worn out and faded. The one my older brother gave me, a Jimi Hendrix tee. He brought it back from Woodstock. I’ve never worn it.

My hand shakes when I reach for it, but I stop and fist it up. Closing my eyes, I take command of my emotions, bottling them back up. It’s just a fucking shirt. Grabbing it off the shelf, I slip it on.

Feeling like I just made it to the top of Mount Everest, I adjust the shirt and look around the room. It’s bare and neat. Nothing out of order, bed made. Or rather, mattress on the floor made. My chest tightens, and then I bark out a laugh.

What the fuck am I worried about? Do I suddenly need to impress her? She knows I’m a poor farmer. I clench my jaw, feeling the defiance spike my adrenaline and make my heart hammer with purpose.

For now, I’m a poor farmer.

Maybe forever. My sick conscience taunts me. “Fuck that,” I say out loud as I fling open my door and storm down the hallway to find Susie.

Noise rises, and the stench of beer and sweaty bodies permeates the air as I reach the kitchen. Scanning the room, I spot Susie about to take a shot of Jack Daniels with some of the guys, including Eldy and Mack. My response is visceral and violent as I plow through the room straight for her.

Without thinking, I take the bottle away from her. “I thought you weren’t a drinker.” Still running on whatever primal instincts have a hold on me, I lean in close. “I have something way better than whiskey for you to swallow.”

She goes instantly crimson and shoots her eyes at mine so that I feel them pierce me like arrows.

“You have no right to talk to me that way.” Her voice is tight and quiet, and I hear her, but I’m not behaving.

“I didn’t realize you were a virgin.”

“Have you been drinking?” It sounds like a real question.

“No. Are you a virgin?” Shit. I drag her away from the others with a look at Eldy that dares him to say a word. But he only grins as Susie lets me take her out the back door.

“I’m not a virgin.”

I can hear the unspoken but in her voice as she looks around, anywhere except at me. We’re surrounded by people, and I have a need to get away, so I take her hand and pull her toward the tree line where it’s dark and I don’t see any people.

“But?”

She finally looks at me. “Where are you taking me?”

“Answer my question.” We’re standing still, and the buzz of noise is distant now. She gives me a blank look as if she’s forgotten the question. That’s not likely, but I remind her.

“You’re not a virgin, but…”

“But it’s none of your business.” She glares at me. “And wipe that smug smile off your face.”

I laugh, and then I wrap her in my arms, unable to resist. “I knew you weren’t a virgin.”

“How? I didn’t tell you.”

“No.”

“Then how?”

“Sixth sense. I understand girls.”

“If you did, you would refer to us as women.”

I nod, an unreasonable spark of awareness lighting me up all over the place, and my heart drums like King Kong is hammering at my chest wall to get out.

“Come with me.” I take her by the hand and lead her around to the front door and push past the crowd of people who all seem to have something to say to me, none of it important.

She whisper-shouts in my ear, “I’m not going to your room.”

There’s a shake of nerves and something else far more interesting in her voice, sounding a lot like excitement. I glance around to find Eldy watching and nod at him as I tug on her hand and she follows me to the hall that leads to my room. He got the message that I want privacy, to make sure no one bothers us.