Page 29 of The Do-Over Girl

“This is serious, Nikki. He hurt me deeply—devastated me—seventeen years ago, and my heart hasn’t forgotten that he’s the guy who crushed it even if my body craves him the way it always did.”

She nods, taking on the desired empathetic, soft smile as she pats my hand. “I get it. I really do. But you know, I always thought there was more to his so-called betrayal than you realized, that you should maybe hear him out. Maybe he’ll have a good explanation or even apologize.” She takes in my skepticism because he’s had seventeen years’ worth of chances to apologize. It’s not like he didn’t know where I was or how to contact me.

“Apparently, he’s had better things to do for the past seventeen years,” I point out.

“I know. But I think, for what it’s worth, that he was hurt too.”

I shake my head. “Why are you on his side?”

“I’m not. But I don’t think he’s a bad guy, either. I didn’t like that he hurt you back then, but Archie told me how much it affected Nash when you left without contacting him.”

“But I did contact him. I called him and left a message, but he never returned it.”

“Oh. I didn’t know. You never mentioned that.” She screws up her face in confusion. “I don’t think Archie would lie about a thing like that. I don’t even think Nash would lie. He may have always had an arrogant streak, but he was never a liar.”

“I called him as soon as I got to NYU. So, technically, it wasn’t before I left, but shortly after,” I amend. “Not that such a small technicality should have made a difference. It was only a week after our graduation dance.”

“As I remember it, he called you several times,” she says, turning the screws of my guilt. Shit. It was more like several dozen times, but I don’t admit it.

I nod. “I know. I was too hurt. I couldn’t talk to him without crying, and I didn’t want to let him know he had that much control over me. Mom said—”

“That’s right. Your mom had a lot of influence. She always wanted you to be an independent woman. Which makes sense since she was a single mom and had no choice.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“Of course not. But you can be independent and in love, you know? I know because I’ve done it.” She raises her left hand to show her wedding band and the big fat diamond ring.

I have no answer to that, so I stick out my tongue at her. I suppose that’s a perfect illustration of what separates us.

“I guess I wasn’t mature enough or secure enough to have the confidence that I could carry that off at the time. Now…I have no idea.”

“You were ready to marry Brad, weren’t you?”

“Sort of.” I let out a big sigh. “In the end, I think I felt safe with him more than in love with him, and that wasn’t enough.” I hesitate, adding, “Plus, I wanted to consider having children, and he refused.”

“So now what, Kali? Can you continue working with Nash?”

“Of course. I’m a grown-up professional—despite recent appearances—and I’ll figure it out. Or we’ll figure it out.” The jangling of my nerves settles. “Besides, like you said, Nash isn’t a bad guy. He’s been pretty decent, in fact, coming back to help Andrews Point Academy, spending his own money to fix the arena, changing the arena’s name, and being a good leader for the kids.”

“I’ve noticed that, too, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Archie says the guys on the team idolize him and would walk on water for him.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Do you know what the kicker is, what’s really starting to soften me?”

“What?”

“The way he respects Charline Pike at the inn. He treats her like gold.”

“Good. I’m glad we got that cleared up,” she says, and I flinch because there’s still a remnant of nerves fluttering in my belly.

“Because you’ll need to convince him to go all-in with his effort on the benefit hockey game if we’re going to get ex-NHL players to buy in.”

My mind is still on the puzzle of how much I should trust Nash. I mean, he has to be a decent guy, and not just because he says he is, but because he’s here. Plus, he came to get me to ensure I got out when we had that fire alarm. And, damn it, I still have a soft spot for him. But if I tell Nikki all that, I’m afraid of what she’ll think.

She’ll think we’re an item, and we’re not. Not romantically. There’s still an attraction, but I can get past that.

She frowns after a couple of beats and prompts me. “What is it?”

Of course, she sees right through me. Again.