Page 61 of Call Off the Dark

And then she forgot again.

She just didn’t want to think about cancer at thirty.

As the new year unfolded, Helen tried to keep herself distracted with work. She was creating a marketing plan for a portable, waterproof Bluetooth speaker when she heard the receptionist’s voice rising in degrees, moving toward her down the hall.

“Sir! If you just hold on . . .”

Stan from Boom Now burst into her office. He was clutching a bunch of papers.

The receptionist, right on his heels, said, “Sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Helen said, but she could feel the heat creeping up her neck. “I don’t have a meeting on my calendar, Stan. Did you try to schedule one?”

The receptionist scurried out of the room, and Stan sat down in the chair across from Helen. He tossed the papers on her desk, and she saw they were the rough outline her team had created for a television commercial.

“What is your degree in?” Stan barked.

Helen pressed her tongue between her teeth so she wouldn’t grind her back molars. Her dentist had threatened her with a mouth guard if she didn’t stop. “Communications.”

Stan smirked. “That’s ironic.”

“Why is that ironic?”

“You have a communications degree, but you seem to have a difficult time communicating your ideas clearly.”

“Is there someone else on my team with whom you think you might click better?” Helen spoke with forced composure. “Perhaps I could set you up with a different point person for a while. We could try that out.”

Stan insisted there was no one else he wanted to work with, and then he lectured her for a good ten minutes on teamwork before abruptly standing and collecting the papers. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding. I’ll be in touch.”

And then he was gone.

Helen waited a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t coming back, then she tucked tissues in her underarms to soak up the sweat before going to her boss’s office.

“He hates me, Darius,” she said. “I don’t think I should work with him anymore.”

Darius was one of the company’s vice presidents, and he was hands-on with the clients too.

“No, Helen. Stan loves you,” Darius insisted. “He said that to me last week.”

She scoffed. “He did?”

“He just signed Boom Now for a series of three more TV spots with us.”

Her boss leaned forward, elbows on his desk, and steepled his hands beneath his chin. His face held a hint of apology, but mostly he looked pleased.

“You’ve done wonderful with him, Helen.” Darius smiled. “In another five years, you’ll easily be a VP here too.”

“What are you doing?” Tyler had a confused expression.

He’d finally caught Helen, and he couldn’t fathom why she would be lying on her back on the living room floor crying at two o’clock in the morning.

Tyler sank heavily onto the couch.

Helen sat up, but she remained on the floor. She rubbed her knee. It ached worse at night.

Every now and then, a small part of her felt hurt or mad that she could be crying in the middle of the night and Tyler had no idea. But it was just a very small part of her. Mostly, she was truly glad the concept of this darkness simply didn’t occur to him, because he didn’t move through the world with unspoken words eating at his brain and sharp edges catching on the day’s end. Sometimes Helen felt like the mast and keel careening dangerously toward jagged rocks and Tyler was the helm reminding her to pull starboard. But lately she’d stopped telling him about all of the jagged rocks because there was just too much to tell.

“I don’t get it,” Tyler said. “If something’s bothering you, why don’t you talk to me?”