Page 69 of Creeping Beautiful

Well, this has Sasha’s name written all over it. She and Nick are a team like McKay and Indie are a team. And he said your name, Adam.

I haven’t talked to Nick since we were kids. You know that.

I don’t know shit right now. We had a deal, remember? We were gonna do this together. Our way. And this is not our way and it is most decidedly not together.

I’m not a part of this. I swear to fucking God, I’m not.

When Nicholas Tate comes to steal a Company kid and says the name Adam… what can I do but assume?

…

Nothing to say about that?

It wasn’t me. Remember? Remember that time you told me there was another Adam in play? It must be him. Not me.

Hmm. Or… there was never another Adam and it was always you.

Donovan. Believe me—

I don’t know what to believe right now. I feel a huge disconnect with the team. I’m away at school and you three are here doing who the fuck knows what. I don’t know what else to tell you, Adam. I don’t even know what we’re doing anymore. I don’t know why we’re doing it, or what we’re getting out of it. And Indie… she needs help. You and I both know—have known for a long fucking time now—that I’m not going to be able to keep her sane.

Donovan. Listen to me. You’re all she’s had. I get it. You’re feeling responsible—

Fuck you, Adam. You’re responsible for this shit show. Not me.

You’re the one who told me to buy her.

You’re the one who’s been running her for the past four years. Not me. I’m just a way to ease your guilty conscious.

I don’t even know what you’re going on about. You wanted this, Donovan. For your stupid research paper.

Go get McKay. I’m done with you for now.

SESSION #87 cont.

DONOVAN: Where the fuck have you been?

MCKAY: Why are you taping this?

Because this is an Indie debrief.

Exactly. Indie’s debrief. Turn it off.

…

Turn it off, Donovan. Or I walk out.

SESSION #87 NOTES - PRIVATE

SESSION #87 NOTES – PRIVATE

I think it’s time to stop. I’m not even sure why I started this shit.

I’m not certified, I’m not equipped, and I have a really bad feeling that this girl’s mind has been fucked with by someone who knows a helluva lot more than I do.

And if this is Carter… well, he certainly had better teachers than I did.

Who am I kidding? No one taught me shit. I’ve been following a training manual twenty years out of date and making this shit up as I go.