Page 157 of Creeping Beautiful

I ignore her. Just grab a dusty bottle of cheap bubbles from the floor and dump in ten times more than I need.

“McKay—”

“You wanna take a bath with me?”

“What?”

I drop my jacket on the floor and then lift my shirt over my head. “You heard me.”

My eyes find hers and she frowns at me. “Why?”

“Because I’ve wanted to take a bubble bath with you for… hell. I can’t really admit how long. It’s kinda sick, Indie. So please don’t make me say it out loud.”

She’s quiet as I kick off my boots and take off my jeans. And then I’m standing there naked as she stares into my eyes.

“It’s up to you. Everything has always been up to you. I hope you know that. We didn’t make you do anything, Indie. We always gave you a choice. Maybe that choice was hard to find at times, but it was always there. So I’m getting in the tub now. And I’m gonna forget about what just happened for a little bit. And what happened four years ago too. Because if I don’t, I will lose my shit. I know I’m supposed to be strong for you. I know I’m here to be your rock. But I can’t do it right now. I can’t face that day, I don’t want to think about it. I can’t feel that sadness again. That defeat. That realization that no matter how hard I try, I cannot control things. I’m wrung out, child. I’m just… used up and wrung out and I would like to take a fuckin’ minute to just… forget. Because I never had that luxury and I need it, Indie. That’s all. I just need it.”

These might be the truest words I’ve ever spoken to her. This might be the most honest moment in my life. Because I have done things, and I am still keeping secrets from her, and… I’m just fuckin’ tired. That’s all. I’m just fuckin’ tired.

I turn away from her and get in the tub. Embarrassed to admit how good this feels.

Have I ever taken a bath before? Maybe. Back when I was a kid. But I don’t think about being a kid anymore, either. I had to wipe it all away after the Company fell. So I’m sure as hell not gonna go there now.

I just close my eyes and sigh as the water fills up around me.

A few moments later I hear floorboards squeaking and peek open one eye to find Indie undressing. It’s quick. She’s only wearing those same sweats and t-shirt I gave her yesterday.

And Jesus fucking Christ. All this shit happened in one fucking day. Fourteen years of memories packed into a single fucking day.

It makes my head spin.

Why am I still sane?

Or am I? Maybe we’re all crazy?

I hold Indie’s hand to steady her as she gets in the tub. Then she turns around and sits down. Leaning back into my chest.

I wrap my arms around her, close my eyes, and sigh.

“Adam’s not gone.”

I open one eye, then close it just as fast. Too much effort. “How do you know?”

“I just know.”

“I know too. So listen to me. We’re doing this. But then we’re gonna get into bed and sleep. And that’s it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… the four of us have to figure this out. Figure us out. We can’t just keep having sex. You’re not mine, you’re ours.”

She’s quiet for a minute.

“Do you understand why?”

She nods her head.

“Tell me.”