Page 46 of Alonzo

OK, I will. I might not be licensed anymore, but I’m still an investigator. Hunting down people who do not want to be found is what I do.

I would like to confront him. Face to face. I want him to admit to all his lies. I want him to see me in person and I want to look him in the eyes when he realizes he fucked up.

He could’ve had me. We could’ve been a thing.

He had no right to lie to me like that.

CHAPTER ELEVEN - ALONZO

Something is wrong with me.

I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s like… I’m short of breath. Or hungry. Or maybe I’ve got allergies or I’m coming down with something. I’m not sure. All I know is that something is wrong with me.

I couldn’t sleep last night after Tara hung up on me.

I should not have exposed myself to her that way. Or… I should’ve thought it through better. Made a plan. You don’t just blurt out that you’re a fucking liar after two years of lying. What was I thinking? I want to take it back. Just go back in time and forget about my desire to have more. I don’t get more. I thought I had come to terms with that.

But it’s easy to forget when you’re satisfied and safe. So very easy to forget the danger of the past when the present seems so safe.

And that’s what this is all about. I became satisfied. I got too comfortable. Maybe even a little cocky. I forgot that my family’s future depends on my ability to keep our secrets safe.

How does Tony deal with this? Why didn’t I talk to him first? He and I are in the same boat. Often literally. Like… that sentence could not be more literal.

I walk outside on the porch of my cottage and look up at the cottage roofs along the street, trying to see if Tony and Luke are still working on them. But the only person I see is Jesse fucking Boston staring back at me from Emma’s porch across the street.

He raises a tentative hand. “I didn’t drown!”

“I didn’t think you would. You were thirty fucking feet from a yacht. By the way, does my sister know that you’re down here consorting with naked girls?”

He points a finger at me. “Those girls were for you. I only have eyes for Emma. And if you tell her otherwise—”

He’ll what? I wait to see what he says.

I don’t really think he was fucking around with those women. I mean I hassle the guy a lot. And I seriously don’t like him, or his brothers. I think they are shady as fuck. He could say something like, “I’ll let you sort that out with my sociopath brother, Johnny,” and I would think twice about shit-talking him to Emma.

But he says nothing. Just skips down the steps of the porch and starts heading across the street. “Look, Alonzo.” He pans his hands wide as he talks. “I get why you don’t like me.” He stops at the bottom of my front walkway and stares up at me. “I married your baby sister, I’m probably not the kind of man you would’ve picked for her, and I have a long history of being a douchebag, drugged-up loser. But I’m clean now. I’ve been clean for almost six years. I’m not the same guy I was. I love her. OK? I love her. Married her five times in Vegas. It was the best day of my life. I would not, I will not, I won’t even think about doing anything to hurt her or fuck up this good thing I’ve got going. She is my life. Can’t you just… please cut me a break? I’m only here to help you.”

“Help me do what?”

“You know.” He shrugs. “Find that special someone. So you can feel as happy and satisfied as I do.” He smiles. And I do have to admit. Humble Jesse Boston does have a certain charm to him.

“I have a girlfriend, Jesse. I don’t need, or want, your dating advice, OK? So whatever this is really about? Just let it go. In fact, you should just go home.”

“Home?”

“Your fucking Bossy Building. Don’t you have friends there?”

He looks down the street towards Luke and Zach’s cottage, then looks back at me. “Nah. Zach is pretty much my only buddy. And he’s down here now. Joey and I have never been close. And now he’s a dad, and he’s got three lovers. I don’t have anything in common with him. Johnny… well, baby on the way. Strange, new, almost-sister-in-law living up in our lake house. I don’t understand him. I don’t know what he’s doing or what the story is behind all the things that happened to us when we were kids. And maybe I don’t really want to know? I’m not sure. But…” He looks over his shoulder in the direction of the ocean. “This place, Alonzo? This island, this beach, this water. This is my jam.”

He grins. Then gets serious again. “I have more in common with you and your family than I do my own. I like it here. I like you. I like your brothers, and your dad, and your sassy little mom. I like this street and our tiny little cottage. And family dinners. Every day I wake up and think… I should buy a yacht. Just dock it down here so I have a home base. Then I could come and go as I please and have everything I ever wanted. But then I think… if I buy my own yacht, get my own home base, then I’ll miss out on all the cool shit those Dumas people get up to. I’ll never have to beg Luke to take his trimaran out. I’ll never have to sweet-talk you into liking me. I’ll lose a whole bunch of chances to get bossed around by your mom. And I like that stuff. I just like it, Alonzo. Everyone thinks I’m so lucky. So privileged. So perfect. But I never had half of what you have, and this kind of life? Filled with family, and love, and traditions, and loyalty? This is all I’ve ever wanted. But if you really want me to go home…” He sighs. “I will, I guess. I won’t come back without Emma.”

Well, now I kinda feel like a dick.

“I just want to be on your team, Lonz. That’s all. I swear to God, I’m not here to fuck things up.”

I suck in a deep breath and exhale loudly. “We’re not really in the market for a new team member, Jesse.”

He frowns, then nods. “All right.”