Page 40 of Alonzo

My phone rings in my hand. The weird ring that signals a FaceTime call.

Maybe I shouldn’t answer it? Maybe I should just forget about Lonnie? If I don’t push him for more details, I’ll never know, right? I could just… disappear.

I mean, I will disappear. Right after we talk—if I answer—I will call up the special phone number the FBI gave me, tell my contact everything Vann just told me, and by tomorrow I’ll be someone else. Living somewhere completely different. Whole new name, whole new background, whole new everything.

The ringing stops.

And if I just keep my mouth shut tonight—say nothing to Lonnie, ask him nothing—then the lie, if there is one, will never be uncovered. I could walk away remembering him, and what we had, the way I thought it was yesterday. Nothing will have to change between Lonnie and me.

I won’t see him again. No matter what he tells me on this FaceTime call—assuming he calls me back—nothing will change that.

It’s over.

Vann Vaughn shattered my whole world today.

But I could keep this one little part. This little bit of Tara. These memories of being her, and long-distance-dating Lonnie. Of the fun phone calls, and texts, and cams. The way he made me laugh, and got me off, and how our fake relationship was so perfect and special.

The phone rings again. FaceTime.

I could keep the illusion alive. Hold it tight. Keep it close and take it to my grave. It doesn’t even matter if he’s lying or I’m lying. It’s about the illusion. The fantasy. That’s all it is. Just a fantasy. But the fantasy has crossed a line now. It could be real if I let go of the past like Vann suggested, and just embrace who I am. I want real. That’s all I want. I just want something, for once in my life, to be all mine and to be all real.

And that’s the problem then, isn’t it?

If I don’t get the truth it’s not real.

I tap the green accept button and Lonnie’s face pops up on the screen. “Hey? I called twice. You didn’t pick up.”

“I know.” I take a deep breath and let it out. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the truth.”

Lonnie frowns. “No?”

“But I am now.”

“You sure?”

I nod. “Yeah. What’s up?”

He stares at me for a moment. His eyes are very close to the camera and I can see all the swirls of green and brown in his irises. His cheeks lift up and I know he’s smiling at me. “Hey. How you doing? You need to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”

“I know. Two years of phone tag, right?”

“Seriously though, what’s going on?”

“Nothing that can’t wait. Now what’s the big secret? You’re going to reveal that you’re some famous billionaire? Or some long-lost prince from some tiny, obscure European country no one’s ever heard of?” I laugh.

He… doesn’t.

“Lonnie?”

He takes a deep breath. “Look. I’m not a billionaire. Or a prince. But I’m not an accountant, either.”

“You don’t need to—”

“I do. I need to tell you this. Because I like you, Tara. And while I would never ask you to give up your life in Colorado, you could… you know. Come for a visit.”

“So you really do live in Key West.”

“Yes. I do. And I’m…” He stops.