Page 58 of His Untoward Hate

When Jasper arrived at school, the students were already gathered in the quadrangle. Several members of the school board stood on the stage, with a few police officers nearby for reasons he was confused about.

The entire campus was buzzing, with greetings being called out endlessly as he passed. Nothing unusual for him. “Hi, Jasper,” “Hello, Jasper,” “Good morning, Jasper,” “What’s up, Jasper,” “Hey, Jasper”—it was the usual chirps he heard every day. Being the well-behaved and ethical student that he was, he always responded with a polite but well-accustomed smile. Unlike his brother, who would completely ignore them. Jasper made it a point to acknowledge everyone.

As usual, his eyes searched for the one person he always longed to see. His heart began to race the moment he noticed a familiar figure among a group of males several meters away, still too far for him to catch their conversation clearly. Numerous students were also watching the group, especially the one he always found himself drawn to.

For five years, he had been secretly crushing on him, memorizing every detail of his body every chance he got—except, of course, anything private. He sometimes wished he could know even more, but he knew it would never happen.

What Jasper liked staring at most was his butt, perfectly fitted in his white slacks. He had developed a strong fixation on it. It was prominent and well-defined, aside from his front, which he was equally sure was just as huge and impressive. He was muscular, with a defined build shaped by sports and constant training. At twenty-two, standing six feet tall, he had Jasper completely captivated, almost desperate at the thought of being close to him. He had tousled dark hair and slightly sleepy hazel eyes that added to his appeal.

Some of the information Jasper had gathered came from the students whose voices carried loudly around him, later scribbled into his small journal at home. He did not intend to eavesdrop, but he could not help it, especially when the topic was about him.

Estevin Simbajon. He was wearing his medical school uniform, while his group of friends wore theirs from marine studies, setting him apart from them. Maybe that was one of the many things he admired about him. Even as a varsity hockey player, he pursued medicine, which was rare for someone typically seen as a jock or one of the so-called troublemakers on campus.

Jasper had never seen Estevin take school seriously. He had never even caught him bringing books or studying in the library. Even though he was still in his pre-med program, medical school was no easy path. It demanded focus and discipline. Yet all Jasper usually saw was him laughing and joking with his friends, practicing and playing hockey, getting into fights with different groups, and toying with girls’ feelings—something that often left Jasper feeling jealous. Those were what Jasper had observed over the five years he had been secretly watching him from a distance.

Jasper’s admiration for him grew even more when he became a dean’s lister in their department during his first year of college last school year, which ultimately shocked Jasper. He could not believe that someone he had always assumed did not take school seriously had actually achieved the highest average in their program. In fact, during Estevin’s high school years, he had never even placed in any rankings.

Jasper even secretly took a photo of the notice posted on the College of Physical Therapy bulletin board, where his name appeared at the very top. That moment only deepened his admiration for him. He had always been drawn to bad boys who were also academically gifted at the same time.

Jasper had considered trying hockey, despite having no idea how to play it. He also planned to pursue a medical course in college next year, specifically nursing, hoping to enter the same field as Estevin. However, despite all his admiration, he kept his guard firmly up. Jasper knew how to restrain himself. For five years, he had never made his feelings obvious to anyone, not even his brother. He was content with admiring Estevin from afar.

School remained his top priority. He kept his boundaries high, knowing the chances of anything happening between them were extremely small or even nothing at all. There was no point in confessing what he truly felt. It was better to keep it to himself. Besides, everyone knew he was a manwhore, and he was obsessed with Mitch Finn. He was straight, a hundred percent. Confessing his feelings would be a complete shame and pointless.

When Estevin unexpectedly turned toward Jasper’s direction, his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. But he quickly realized he was not looking at him. He let out a quiet sigh of relief. He was only talking to his friends, laughing along with them.

Jasper rarely got the chance to see him laugh, so he tried to savor the moment while it lasted. However, concern quickly crept in when, from the front view, he clearly saw how severe the bruising on his face was. It was not anything new. There was not a single week he did not have bruises or wounds on his face, but this time, Jasper’s concern felt different. This was the worst he had ever seen him look. Bandages covered the wounds above his left eyebrow, while other injuries were left exposed across his face. His nose looked broken, and a dark bruise had formed around his right eye. Despite all of it, he was still laughing at whatever jokes his friends were making. He surely was accustomed to it.

Jasper realized this was the part of Estevin he admired most. Years of secretly watching him from afar had made him fall in love with this side of him. No matter how terrible things became, no matter how many problems came his way, or how often he found himself in trouble, Estevin always wore his smile. Jasper loved that about him. Jasper loved his smile. He loved how carefree and adventurous Estevin was, something Jasper had never allowed himself to be. While Jasper spent his days bound by expectations and caution, Estevin lived with a freedom he could only dream of. Sometimes, Jasper wondered if, in another life, he would have had the courage—that sometimes, somewhere in another universe, they would both go on adventures together.

Jasper’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest when Estevin suddenly looked his way, catching him in an intense stare he did not even realize he had been holding for how long. Estevin’s laughter gradually faded, replaced by a keen, unreadable expression. Jasper watched his brows knit together, and unease settled in his chest. He did not know why his face was pasted on, challenging his stare.

Jasper was convinced Estevin hated him, just from the way he looked at him. Even though they had never spoken a single word to each other, he could feel that intense hostility directed at him, as if it were enough to seep through him. He knew things between Estevin and his brother were not good. He had witnessed their frequent fights and rivalry. A sudden fear crept into him. The thought that Estevin might come after him next, maybe even hurt him out of revenge, until he was left lifeless.

Jasper’s phone suddenly rang, pulling him out of his thoughts and breaking his fixed connection. He quickly reached into his pocket and took it out, silently grateful for the interruption. Czyra’s name appeared on the screen.

“Hey!” Jasper raised his voice, trying to be heard over the loud chatter of the students he had not noticed while he was spacing out.

“Look at your back,” she said.

There stood Czyra, one hand gripping the strap of her black JanSport backpack, the other holding a phone to her ear. She rolled her eyes at him before breaking into a smile. She was a bit of a weirdo, but still, Jasper could not help but smile back.

“Hey,” she greeted as she approached Jasper.

“Hey,” Jasper replied, quickly pushing aside the thoughts he had earlier.

As he often reminded himself, he was good at hiding what he felt for Estevin. He did not even glance back anymore and led Czyra to a spot where he could no longer see him.

“Do you have any idea what today’s announcement is about?” Jasper asked, curiosity rising in him.

The school rarely held gatherings like this, and whenever it did, it usually meant something important.

“No idea,” she replied with a slight shake of her head. “Where’s Jude? I can’t get a hold of him.”

“I don’t know either. I was even looking for my brother. He’s not been home since yesterday,” said Jasper.

“Maybe they are just somewhere in the crowd. I’m pretty curious what this goddamn thing is about, too,” she said as they both looked at the front.

The crowd quieted as the University President came into view, his measured steps carrying him toward the podium. Jasper rarely saw the old folk around campus, and that alone was enough to convince him that whatever was about to be said was important. He cleared his throat, and the intimidating presence he carried completely silenced the students.