Page 48 of His Untoward Hate

Normally, he would feel joyful whenever his parents came home from their trips, even if they never seemed as excited to see him. But today was different. He felt gloomy, exhausted, and completely drained. Every part of his body ached while his emotions weighed heavily on him after everything that had happened throughout the day—every painful moment in between. Jude could already feel a fever creeping up on him.

For the past few minutes, he silently listened to their endless yet cheerful conversation. He lay there, listening.

“By the way, where’s Jude?” Francisco suddenly asked, immediately catching Jude’s attention.

Jude dropped to his knees and listened carefully to their conversation, pressing his right ear against the wall.

“I don’t know, Dad,” Mitch answered. “You know what, Mom, Dad? While you were away on your trip, that faggot kept coming home really late. Like, extremely late. Sometimes he didn’t even go to school. I have no idea what he’s been doing, but my friends saw him at a gay bar three nights in a row. Honestly, I think he’s there right now. Ugh! That faggot is unbelievable. He’s such a shame to me in school,” Mitch lied shamelessly.

“Wait, what?! Are you serious, sweetheart?” Elvie asked, her voice rising.

“Mom, why would I lie to you?” Mitch replied quickly. “And you know what else? He even threw a party here last Friday night while you were gone. The house was a complete mess, and one of your vases was even broken. He just replaced it with an identical one. Look, Mom—I even have pictures of him at the party. He was acting so wild and disgusting,” Mitch continued, piling lie after lie.

Anger instantly surged through Jude. He could not believe Mitch was ruining his image in front of their parents behind his back. He wanted to storm inside and tell them that Mitch was lying, but his feet felt rooted to the floor.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this. Look at him, honey,” Elvie reacted hysterically, her voice making Jude’s chest tighten in fear. “He’s already been such a burden in our lives all these years, and now this is only what he does to us? He’s an embarrassment to this family.”

Tears quickly welled up in his eyes as his heart shattered.

Why would Mitch say such lies?

Deeply hurt and terrified, Jude pressed a hand against his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt and pinching his skin beneath it in a desperate attempt to alleviate the pain inside.

So I’m just a burden to this family?

Why am I even questioning it?

It’s true. I am a burden, he thought.

What Elvie had said struck him like a heavy blow straight to his chest, hitting his heart until it became hard for him to breathe. What hurt even more was how easily they believed Mitch.

Tears began to spill from his eyes as he quickly covered his mouth, trying to silence the whimper threatening to escape.

“Damn that faggot. He’s nothing but a plague and a disgrace to this family. I regret that we ever adopted him,” Francisco blurted out, shattering whatever was left in Jude.

Jude could no longer make sense of their conversation as his entire sense of holistic well-being began to slip away. His body went numb as he floundered to stay conscious, fighting the urge to collapse.

After everything that had happened today, only one thought surfaced in his mind.

He wants to be gone.

Die.

21

After punching and kicking his bedroom door five times, hardly enough, Sky rested his forehead against the wall, finally letting his frustration out. He did not care about the pain throbbing beneath the bandages wrapped around his knuckles. The wounds had reopened, blood quickly seeping through the white fabric.

Sky drew a deep breath before letting it out slowly, regret enveloped him more heavily than ever. He did not even understand why he had done all of that. Why had he gone to a pharmacy, bought medications for the first time in his life, and treated Jude’s wounds?

The situation was only getting worse. Life was so fucking messed up. Every touch he shared with Jude felt like a death note, a painful reminder that he needed to stay away.

Once Sky had cooled down, he turned his gaze toward the window and watched Jude leave. His hand remained tightly clenched into a fist, with some blood dripping onto the floor. The only light illuminating the room came from a streetlight meters away, casting a dim glow through the windowsill. Because of that, Jude would not notice him secretly watching.

Jude’s back was turned against him. Sky’s brows furrowed when, after standing for a few seconds, he began walking away.

Don’t tell me he’s actually planning to walk home? Sky thought.

Absent-mindedly, Sky’s feet seemed to move on their own, carrying him downstairs. He grabbed the gray hoodie hanging by the door, quickly slipped it on, and rushed outside like some kind of spy. The night was slowly growing deeper, the cold air brushing harshly against his frame as proof of it.