Page 10 of His Untoward Hate

Kring! Kring! Kring!

Just as the conversation grew more heated, the school’s intercom blared throughout the room. The interruption felt like a lifeline to Jude, easing the tight knot in his chest. He quietly exhaled in relief, convinced that the announcement must have been something important.

“Good morning, students and faculty. We apologize for the unexpected interruption. Please be informed that the school will undergo a comprehensive inspection today. As a result, there will be no morning break, and all students are required to remain in their respective classrooms until lunchtime. Access to the dormitories and other school facilities will also be temporarily restricted until five o’clock this afternoon. We understand that this announcement comes without prior notice and may leave many of you confused or surprised. Nevertheless, we kindly ask for your patience, understanding, and full cooperation as we address this important matter. Thank you.”

Murmurs and chatter began to spread in the air. As far as Jude could remember, the last time the school was put under inspection was two years ago because there were reports that someone had brought a gun. A thorough investigation of the students was conducted, and lockers, dormitories, and other facilities were carefully checked for that hefty matter. The school even issued a suspension of classes for days. Yet the controversy remained unsettled, tarnishing the school’s once-pristine reputation.

“Okay, class! Quiet! All ears!” Miss Datahan broke the noise. “We only have less than twenty minutes left, and we will make use of the time to group you up with your research.”

The class continued, and the teacher seemed to have forgotten about the unpleasant encounter between her and Sky.

“This research would only be composed of two. Which means, only by pair,” she declared.

A wave of protests followed.

“I think it’s difficult for us to make our research feasible, ma’am, if we’re just two,” Carolina complained.

Jude’s classmates protested, most especially the boys. Many students were displeased with the idea of working in pairs rather than groups. But the teacher remained firm in her decision, explaining that smaller groups encouraged accountability and profound understanding.

“I don’t want other students to rely mostly on their leader, so it’s better to be this way. I have experienced it before, and I didn’t like the fact that students couldn’t answer many of the questions in the final defense, and only the leader could. The fewer, the better. I am final with my decision already, so there’s no more complaining before I change my mind again and make this research individually,” she said with full conviction.

Jude silently agreed.

Unlike the year before, their qualitative research class, with groups of five members each, proved to be anything but an ideal learning experience. Jude, being the leader as he always was, had his groupmates heavily rely on him, even though he did his best to lead them in the best way he could. He tried to teach them the proper methodologies and all, but they did not work hard the way he wanted them to learn. They ignored him most of the time and even bullied him.

In the end, he was the one who had to pull the group through their final defense. His groupmates struggled to answer even the simplest questions from the panel, despite the fact that he had already prepared mock questionnaires and sample answers for them. He had handed everything over a week before the defense, hoping they would take the time to practice. Instead, they simply accepted the materials and left all the responsibility on his shoulders.

“To start with, I’ve heard that the top one last semester is here in this class. May I know where Jude Finn is?” she asked.

Jude nearly jumped at the sudden call. As dozens of eyes turned toward him and a few students pointed him out, heat crept up his face. Unable to bear the attention, he fixed his gaze on his notebook, almost wanting to dive into it and hide there if possible.

“Oh! You’re Jude Finn, no wonder,” she said as she approached. “By the way, Jude Finn and the guy who’s supposed to be the infamous Sky Granger will be partners in the research making,” she announced, with a slight stress on Sky’s name.

Jude’s eardrums seemed to explode at the sudden pronouncement, and he could not hear the rest for a moment. His brain could not process what he had just heard.

“Mi—” Jude raised his head and opened his mouth to object, but she did not give him the chance.

Leizel’s eyes were already on the class record as she continued calling out names and matching students into pairs.

Jude thought he still had lucky stars to count for today, but they became shooting stars and were abruptly gone in the blink of his eye.

“By the way, I forgot one thing for the first pair…” Miss Datahan said in the middle of pairing the others. “Sky Granger is going to be the leader,” she said as she looked at Jude with a smile.

5

For the longest time, Jude’s nights were characterized by a profound solitude within the familiar confines of his room. It had always been a repetitive routine growing up, such as doing a quick, stripped-back skincare routine, finishing his schoolwork, immersing himself in a book, writing poems and journals, then retreating to bed with the simple hope of a peaceful sleep. His nights were uneventful, and though the monotony had once unsettled him, he had long since grown accustomed to it, and complaining about it never crossed his mind. He loved it this way. The four worn walls of his modest room had become his sanctuary. The silent witness to every hardship, every fleeting triumph, every up and down in the past.

Tonight, however, was different.

The party had just started an hour ago. Loud music filled the entirety of the house. As much as he did not want to listen to all the noises and focus on more important matters before his eyes, it was just too loud to go unnoticed. Unlike Mitch’s room, he had no embedded soundproof insulation.

The noises pulsed through the house, accompanied by bursts of laughter, flirtatious chatter, indistinct conversation, and the occasional clinking of glasses. Despite his efforts to concentrate, a strange curiosity stirred within him. There was a part of him wondering: What a party actually looked like, and to be out there amongst people?

A part of Jude’s brain knew better than to entertain it. Thinking of going out would surely be a death sentence for him, knowing his sister’s clear warning. Whether out of shame or some unspoken reason, she preferred to keep him hidden, as though his existence were something to be concealed. She did not want the school to know about him, even though they already knew they were siblings and living under the same roof. Jude had wondered about it long before, and one thing that he always concluded from it was that she was ashamed of him.

Jude closed the book that he was reading on the table with a heavy sigh. He brought his left foot to the back side and tiptoed on it as he began to stand up from his seat, feeling the familiar beat of the music from one of his favorite female artists. The upbeat melody coursed through him, stirring something alive beneath the stillness he had grown used to. He quickly turned his back from the chair, paused for a second, and started moving his head up and down as Avril Lavigne’s music ‘Love It When You Hate Me’ stimulated the millions of cells of his body.

Before long, he found himself dancing.