Page 84 of The New Place
“What? Aren’t you?”
“Aren’t we—Pat! No!”
“I don’t mean now, but eventually?” Pat asks. “You’re not breaking up with Abbot, so the alternative is kind of just being together forever, whether you put a ring on it or not. Don’t overthink this. Though you’re you, so you’re going to.”
“That is really different from being engaged!”
“Yeah, for some people, maybe.”
“You are not taking this seriously.”
“You are taking this way too seriously.”
“Just text Claire and relax about it.”
“Ned, we have to game-plan this. It is not just a text. It’s the entire future of this relationship.”
“I’m just supposed to let these people think I’m getting married?”
“I mean, that’s what I think.”
“You’re you!” Ned half shouts.
“It’s kind of funny, if you think about it.”
“You know, I’m having trouble seeing the humor.”
“Can I tell Claire about this pickle you’ve put yourself in? If she ever talks to me again?”
“She probably just lost her phone.”
“Or she’s dead. I’m the opposite of fine, my dude. She is the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I’m going to simply cease existing if she ghosts me. And I have no idea what I did! It’s like everything was fine and then bam, radio silence.”
“I don’t think a couple hours without a text counts as this dire a situation. Abbot said when he saw her just the other day that they hit it off, so she’s not avoiding everyone.”
“Did Abbot say what they talked about?”
“Just stuff, he didn’t really say specifically. She was curious about you, I guess.”
“What does that mean?” Pat’s voice sharpens.
“I don’t know. Like if you’re secretly a weirdo. If you were the type to jump to a conclusion that she’s been murdered.”
“Oh no,” Pat says. “She’s been murdered.”
“No, you idiot. If you’d treat her alright and if you’re a nice guy.”
“I am,” Pat says, his voice rising. “I am treating her alright, aren’t I? Ned, am I?”
“I don’t know. Are you?” Ned asks.
“Should I tell her I love her?”
“Pat!”
“Too soon. Yeah, that’s too much. Okay, I heard it out loud.”
“Just text her and say something nice.”
