Page 74 of The New Place

She laughs. “So. Baxter. What’s been going on with him? This has been happening for a while? Pat told me he’s not as shiny as he normally is.”

“I’m honestly not sure. He is a bit less put-together these days, perhaps. He has to go out more often at night.”

“Hmm.” Claire runs her hands over Baxter’s sides, then under his stomach as Baxter tries to lick her chin. “It could be normal aging, but could also be an issue with the kidneys or thyroid. We’ll run some basic bloodwork, along with the urine, and see what that tells us. Mind if I take him to the back for a minute?”

“Go ahead,” Abbot says and hands Claire the leash.

“C’mon, big guy,” Claire says, and Baxter resists until she pulls another treat out, and then follows her happily through the door.

When he gets back, he sniffs Abbot’s hands and pockets as if expecting an equal reward for traversing the door in both directions, but the best Abbot can offer is a scratch behind the ears.

“He was great,” Claire says. “And we’ll get those results back soon. In the meantime, stay up with his hydration, though if you want to take his bowl away in the evening, just to get some peace and quiet overnight, it should be fine. And now: payment.”

Abbot reaches for his wallet. “I can⁠—”

“Oh, they’ll take your card up front. No. Pat. Well, Pat and Ned, let’s start there. Two peas in a pod, aren’t they?”

“They’re very close.”

“I definitely get the sense Pat would not be seeing me without Ned’s approval. Did you get a similar shakedown when you two started dating?”

Pat clearly hasn’t told her how he and Ned got together, which is fine with Abbot. The longer that story stays under wraps, the better, if he has any hope of this woman thinking him at all normal. Though perhaps that’s Pat’s prerogative to begin with: how could Pat explain his enthusiasm for pushing Ned and Abbot to pretend to date, while still coming off as someone Claire would be interested in? The entire story is absurd. Unbelievable. Preposterous, even.

Which is why he and Ned likely shouldn’t be engaged in another round of deceit regarding looking at houses. Especially if they can’t agree on what their own truth actually is.

“Of a sort,” he finally says.

“You and Ned have been together a year?”

“Since last fall.”

“Pat wants us to be friends. Friends-in-law,” she says. “You know, since he and Ned are pretty joined at the hip.” Is she nervous about Ned liking her? She doesn’t seem so, but it’s there, hovering beneath the conversation.

Does Pat like Abbot? It feels late for the thought to occur to him. Yes, he must. Right? He invites Abbot to the cafe regularly, and always leans over the bar for a long chat when he does. Team Ned, he said. Did Abbot make a good impression on Pat? No, not as Ned’s professor. As his boyfriend? Does Pat approve of him? Of them?

Does he also think five years is a reasonable time frame? Or will he say Ned is being his normal self, worrying at everything, and they’ll move in together by summer?

“Listen,” Claire says suddenly. “I know you’re biased, and this probably isn’t fair to ask, but I’m going to anyway. Is Pat a good guy?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I want to know what I’m getting into. Am I the latest in a series of women he’s introduced you to? I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself the night I met him. My little sister is getting married and I couldn’t be more single if I tried. And listen, I’m alright if the answer is yes. I knew what I was doing. But him bringing me home that night, upstairs to his place, is that his move all the time?”

“Not that I know of,” Abbot says, taken aback by the question. Had she worried about that? Is she still? Yes, apparently.

“My ex was an absolute asshole. And I’m not dating again ever, except that I met Pat and apparently now I am. I have to figure out how much of an idiot I’m being over him, and I have no idea who else to ask. So. Would you let your sister date him?”

Abbot straightens. “My sister is thirteen.”

“Theoretically.”

“She lives in Switzerland.” And she called Pat a giant doofus, though that doesn’t seem entirely relevant, and to be specific, she called Ned that in the same breath and both had felt somehow like a compliment.

“Please,” Claire says, looking at him with such desperation that Abbot hesitates.

What does he know, really? Pat doesn’t talk about his romantic life with Abbot. If they’re friends, they’re not friends of that sort. He’s wondered, certainly, what conversations Ned and Pat share, though he tries not to dwell on this, uncomfortable with how much Pat may know about Abbot’s sex life and any details Ned has divulged.

Which leaves him relieved he doesn’t have any of that information to have to decide whether to share with Claire.