Page 56 of The New Place

“I don’t know,” Abbot says slowly.

“We need proof?” Ned repeats.

“Apparently.”

“Why the hell do we need proof?” He and Abbot are committed, if Beverly is so worried, and it’s not up to a fancy, rich university to judge that.

Oh. Fuck. He can feel the tips of his fingers growing numb, and it’s not just the cold, but a shiver of anxiety climbing through him. Proof is between him and a damn job so he can support his kid? Pay off his loans? Keep his debt from mounting higher than it already has in the years it’s taken him to even begin to tackle it?

“We’re not together enough for her? Or for fucking HR?” Ned asks. Anxiety and embarrassment both, he knows. That hot mortification every time he remembers all over again the giant walking, talking, negative net worth he is. “Was that the problem?”

“I wonder what exactly Chris told her,” Abbot says.

Or Abbot’s father. Was the real issue that Charles sowed doubt in her mind, and Ned and Abbot managed to confirm it? Charles doesn’t like Ned, he’s pretty sure, and was he as coolly dismissive of their relationship as he is about most things in Abbot’s life?

So Beverly—what? Went into today expecting something really different from them, only to find out that in her eyes, they’ve barely started dating?

“Fuck if I know,” Ned says. “Hell if Chris even knows. He probably just started talking and Beverly heard what she wanted to.” And then sorted through fact and fiction in that meeting.

At least Beverly still wants Abbot. Who wouldn’t? But Ned is losing his job. Abbot could be heading to one of the best universities in the country, and Ned’s going to be out of work.

He blows out a breath into his collar. Yeah, well, he probably wouldn’t look at the situation and trust it either. He can imagine the conclusion Beverly’s drawn, wanting to do a favor for her friend’s kid, and finding out the reality is that Henry here fell into a whirlwind romance that’s barely been tested by time. What can prove that Abbot isn’t making a decision that’s wrong as hell to align his future to Ned’s? That this isn’t some fling that’s going to fade, Abbot moving forward in his life and Ned falling farther and farther behind?

Ned shakes himself. Nothing between them is fading. It’s Abbot, and damn if Ned won’t do anything to keep him. Pour coffees, work at Dad’s auto shop, fucking run the photocopier here at Newbury. Whatever it takes to remain a viable adult who can support himself and his kid. Even if he does still live with Mom and Dad.

I’m taking you out, Ned could say in some other life, one where he had a handle on his finances. Dinner for just them, on Ned, as a thanks for all of this, and a congratulations to Abbot on his new job, assuming he takes it. And then back to some fabulous place Ned lives, that’s cozy and warm against the winter chill, and not the double bed where one of them will have to sleep wedged against the wall while the other tries not to topple off the mattress.

“Can’t we tell her we’re serious?” Abbot asks.

“We are.” Ned waves a hand toward those damn stone steps and the gorgeous brickwork. “Didn’t we tell her that? I told her that.”

“No, more so that we’re…” Abbot pauses and behind his glasses, his eyes shift away and back again. “Her idea to look at places together. We could take her up on that.”

“We haven’t even talked about you moving here yet, and you want to look at houses?”

“The issue seemed less her opinion on our relationship, and more that she has something concrete to bring to HR and anyone else from Newbury who might ask. We could go tomorrow. In the morning, first thing, if her wife can see us then. You don’t teach until the afternoon, and all I have is meetings I could move if I need to.”

“Yeah, but it’d be—” Ned lets out a short laugh. A waste of everyone’s time, obviously. “We said we’d talk about it.” Not just dive into looking at properties.

“I had thought maybe you’d come anyway, when I start to look.” Abbot’s talking quickly, little puffs of frosty air in front of his mouth. “I’d like you to.”

“Well, I can if you want,” Ned says. Of course he can. He doesn’t have anything other than Figure shit out on his calendar, and wherever Abbot ends up, Ned’s going to spend plenty of time there so he might as well get the preview now.

Is this really the proof the university needs? Because Ned’s not buying anything, or signing his name to any lease, so it feels like putting on a big show for no reason.

But Abbot’s looking at him a little too intently, and when he talks, he sounds calm, like he’s already on board with this plan. “We need to make it clear we were caught unaware today, but that we’re certainly looking for places together. And then like she said, take it from there. It at least allays any immediate concerns HR or the university might have.”

“Oh. So we—” Ned nearly laughs as he catches up. Oh hell no. They’re not doing this again. Except there’s a gleam in Abbot’s eye. “We pretend we’re looking for a place together?”

“We can really be looking.”

“Yeah, but we aren’t,” Ned says. “And didn’t we do this once? Let everyone around us draw their own conclusions?”

A small smile flits across Abbot’s face. He seems so excited. Giddy, almost. “It worked out alright, didn’t it?”

“Sure, but this is a little…” Ned waves a hand. Abbot can find this funny, but Ned? This is his life, or lack thereof, his career crashing and burning around him. “It’s different, isn’t it?”

“It’s much easier, seeing as we’ve already established that we rather like each other.”