Page 46 of The New Place

“Yeah.” Ned sniffs against the cold air. “That would have been great.” It really would have. Abbot would have been a big old fish in a small pond at Adams, but it would have been their pond, together.

But still. “You have Callahan,” Ned says, and maybe that’s unfair, but it’s true too. “Or Newbury. Wherever.”

“I don’t want to work at Newbury.”

He’s lucky to have a choice. Ned bites this back, because the last thing he needs today is to pick a fight just because he’s miserable. None of this is Abbot’s fault.

Besides, Ned already drove one relationship straight into the ground with Jen. He’s doing this one right, and that includes not being an ass just because it feels good in the moment. He and Abbot don’t argue, and Ned’s not going to start now.

“Then don’t,” Ned says. “Stay where you are, and you can be looking, right? Something will come up eventually.”

“I don’t want to wait, either.”

“You can still move closer. Down to southern Maine, or even northern Mass. It’s not a terrible commute back to Portland.”

Abbot squeezes his arms. “That’s not even counting the eighteen miles of New Hampshire’s coastline as an option.”

Ned wrinkles his nose, searching for a joke. “Well, no one does.”

Abbot pulls in a breath, his eyes sliding away for a moment. Oh, he’s going to ask something. Would you move in together? Ned steels himself for it. With what job? is an easy enough answer, though he doesn’t want to say it out loud.

Instead, Abbot straightens Ned’s collar, which surely doesn’t need it, and says, “I’d consider Newbury if you did too. Steve’s suggestion, for a spousal hire.”

“What?” Ned laughs. “For me?”

Abbot looks down at their feet. “I don’t think Baxter’s qualified, so yes, you.”

“I’m not qualified,” Ned says. “And…” And. And. And everything. Abbot doesn’t want to be there. Some secret lady showed up and threw him a curveball. Ned handed over an envelope with who knows what the hell in it. Thick paper, it felt like. Maybe cardstock or index cards, but whatever it is, Abbot isn’t saying. Ned could ask again, but trying to get Abbot to share anything is like talking to a brick wall, and Ned doesn’t have enough energy right now.

“Of course you’re qualified,” Abbot says. “You have outstanding student reviews.”

“I have all of two papers published. Not even published. In the pipeline. They don’t come out until next year sometime. Fuck. I was so proud.”

“It’s up to the department to make the final decision. All I could do is ask that they take a look at you. If they don’t think you’re a good fit, they won’t hire you.”

Ned’s not a good fit. He’s a new professor with barely any experience. Abbot’s who they want. Ned is extra baggage carted around.

And besides. “We’re not married,” Ned points out.

“I can’t believe that would be an actual requirement.”

“Still.” Though what had Beverly said the other night? That she’d heard so much about him? Knew him by name already, from talking to Abbot’s father?

Great. What a social circle they are. Charles, Beverly, and Chris and Susan. Two deans among them, and stellar careers all around. Abbot fits in great with that crew. Ned’s the outlier, a data point so far from the norm that it’s skewing the whole picture.

See? He did learn something about statistics. How little he fits in.

My daddy’s a mess, Peggy will get to say at her school’s next career day, and he’ll sit there in sweatpants, unshaven, still living with his parents.

Peggy. He closes his eyes and takes a breath. She’s his to care for. Not to rely on Jen, or his parents, or anyone else, but to be there for as best he can.

There have to be other options, but what the hell else can he do? Switch careers? He did that already, decided to go back to school, and look where that decision ended up.

With Abbot. Facing unemployment, yes, but standing here with this man.

Ned looks at him for a long time, watching Abbot’s eyes track over his face in return. Abbot’s cheeks are red, and the tip of his nose, too. Ned is suddenly very glad Abbot brought him his hat. “You don’t even want to talk about this Beverly woman,” Ned finally says.

Yeah, there it is: Abbot’s mouth pressing into a thin line.