Page 166 of The New Place

And a week, too. No, only a handful of days, really. Abbot’s been married less than a week and his stomach churns, nauseated, as he sips his wine.

He should have responded more quickly, he sees as Claire and Pat look at each other and then at him. He should probably be beaming. He tries to reach for the delight of the weekend he and Ned spent together, but can only find the chill of tonight still clinging to him.

“I’m just tired,” he says quickly. “I dropped Liesl off at the airport, and we had dinner with Steve and his family.”

Pat points a finger at him. “Don’t go making friends with that man, too.”

“I’ve known him for years.”

“Nope, I called dibs on you,” Pat says.

“He’s moving here,” Abbot says. “I’m sure you’ll like him.”

“Just as you’re ripped away from me,” Pat sighs.

Maybe Pat will come to Switzerland this summer. He actually might, and Abbot tries to find humor in that idea as he stares into his wine. Showing Pat where he grew up, and perhaps Claire too. Maybe Dan and Cheryl as well, all before Ned makes the trip over.

Claire leans closer. “You okay?”

“No,” Abbot says and then quickly adds, “Sorry, yes. Yes, I’m fine.”

She and Pat exchange another look. Abbot braces for a You sure? But Pat just opens the dishwasher and takes a rack of steaming dishes from it. “Where’s this Steve looking to live?”

“Somewhere close to campus, I assume,” Abbot says. “He joked about simply trading houses, but I think he’d want something bigger than mine.”

“He got something good to offer?”

Oh, Abbot doesn’t want to talk about the evening he just had, but he manages a nod. “His grandmother’s house is going up for sale. We—I looked at it.”

“And?”

And it’s lovely and charming and needs to be updated, and Ned hadn’t walked into it with a smile and a yes like Abbot had held out hope for.

He shouldn’t have. He knew that before dinner tonight, and knows it now.

“It was nice,” Abbot says. “Near your parents and Ned’s both.”

“Yeah? You thinking about it?”

Abbot should extricate himself from this conversation, but what is he going to do? Put Pat off today, just for him to learn of their living arrangements soon enough? He will, like everyone will, and—and Abbot wants to talk about this, he finds. One of those odd shifts in his life since he got involved with Ned that still catch him unaware at times. Like a missed step going downstairs, the realization that he’s changed before he quite knew he had the capacity to.

He wants to—needs to—talk about these issues with Ned, and he’s left himself with so very few people to turn to.

Is it fair to involve Pat? When he was Ned’s friend first?

Though fairness feels very far away just now. “I am, but Ned’s planning to stay at his parents’.”

“This spring?” Pat starts pulling out clean glasses to put away.

Can’t Pat just intuit what Abbot means? Not make him say it out loud?

No, because it’s nonsensical. They’re married, and Ned doesn’t want to live together. Can’t, he had said, but he could, and he won’t. Not live together or travel either.

Hurt fills the back of Abbot’s throat, and beside it, an urge just as strong to defend Ned, to explain his choice so Pat and Claire and everyone will agree that no, no, this makes sense. Of course Ned will remain at his parents’ house, so there’s no reason for Abbot’s burn of embarrassment that his husband won’t move in with him. And it’s fine that Abbot will never share his childhood home, or where his mother is buried, or heal the hurt in his sister, even after Ned just declared him and her family.

“He’s, ah, not ready to move in together,” Abbot offers, but it’s not enough, apparently, because Claire’s looking at him curiously and Pat’s holding a glass in midair, frowning. “We looked at some houses. One was—it was fine. And then this one, tonight.”

“And Ned’s dragging his feet?” Pat asks.