Page 93 of Reins

Her pizza cools on her plate where she left it.

Fuck. My stomach twists with worry as I push away from the table.

“Ros?” Heading towards our bedroom, I pause before the closed door, my palm resting on the handle.

I still haven’t figured out when she just needs a moment to regroup or when she needs me to offer her comfort.

Only one way to find out, I guess.

“Rosalyn?” It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust. The lights are off, but the afternoon sun filters through the curtains to show her huddled on the bed, a pillow wrapped tightly against her chest.

All she replies with is a whimper.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” I lean on the doorframe, unsure if I should go in or not.

“Um.” There’s a moment where she readjusts her feet, rubbing her toes together until she lets out a small sigh. “No.”

I’ll take that cue to crawl slowly over the blanket until I’m on my side a few inches away. Part of me doesn’t want to crowd her. The other half wants to pull her to my chest and squeeze her until she feels better.

“Want to talk?” I ask the back of her head.

“No.” That answer comes out weak but quickly.

“Mind if I do?” I roll flat and thread my fingers behind my head.

There’s another pause. Then her arm reaches from the ball of her body to rest on my stomach.

“I’d like that.” She has a little strength in her voice this time.

I’ll take that as encouragement.

“When I was a kid, I used to get these terrible nightmares. All kinds of crazy shit. Sometimes it was from a movie. Sometimes it was just crap from school or even stuff in my own head.” My belly raises and lowers her fingers with a big inhale. “I think I was around six or so when it really started to become a problem. I was so tired I’d fall asleep in class and the other kids would make fun of me.” I glare at the ceiling as if it’s the sheetrock’s fault. “That made me get into fights. One day, my dad got sick of it.” I let out a chuckle and drop my hand to cover hers. “He gave me a stone that he told me was a magical monster rock. It was just a polished chunk of jade but that green was like nothing I had ever seen.”

God damn, I miss my dad.

“Did it work?” She shifts to face me, moving our fingers up to my chest.

“Yea, surprisingly,” I snort. “He said when I got scared I was supposed to rub that thing and tell it to go away. I got so focused on playing with the darn thing, I’d forget about the bad things for a little while. After a bit, it just became a habit, keeping it with me.”

“Do you still have it?” She stretches, propping her knee over my thigh and setting her head on my shoulder.

I wrap her close, stroking her side. “Right about now it’s sitting on their headstone,” I say hoarsely. “I asked Wade to put it there for me. I’ve learned that the real monsters aren’t in my mind.”

Her nails curl into my shirt. “Sometimes I think they’re in mine.”

“That reminds me.” I reach down into my pocket. “I had this made for you.” The thin silver chain catches the light from the hall as I let it dangle from my fingers.

“Is that—” She reaches out to the swinging bottom of the bracelet. “—the sea glass?” She tilts the rose colored piece wrapped in wire.

I’m not sure if she hiccups or sobs.

“I thought when you wore it you could picture that first time we kissed.” My throat sure feels like it has sand in it. “This way you can see it easily as a reminder that I’m always there with you.”

She makes another croaky gasp and threads it over her wrist.

“I get…overwhelmed. When there’s too many choices I get lost in them. They’re my monsters, eating at my brain until I can’t make any.” Her nose rubs my chest as she buries in. “Is it okay if I just give them to you? I trust you.”

My heart aches with a rush of emotion. “Ros, I’ll help you any way you want me to. Is this about me maybe going back to Montana?”