Page 75 of Reins

Chapter 37 – Rosalyn

We ended up staying an extra day before we left. Cade said he had last minute details to work out with Pete.

Whatever it was, he seems calmer now.

Our horses loaded easily, probably tired of being cooped up the last few days in the barn. Jokes on them, they’re going to be stuck in the trailer for a few more.

Petunia is used to riding though. And she acts like she’s best friends with Bessy too.

That’s a bonus.

“I can’t believe we’re actually going to Texas.” My knee has healed up enough that I can cross my legs on the seat to spread my book over my lap.

“I’m looking forward to some warm sun.” Cade presses his palms against the wheel, stretching as he drives.

We’ve been on the road a lot already and this trip has barely started.

“It’s seventy-nine in Paradise, Texas, as we speak.” I hold up his phone so he can see the app.

“And what is it here? Twenty?” He snorts. “No wonder my damn thigh is pissed at me.”

I’m getting used to holding his hand but haven’t ventured much past that, although a growing part of me wants to. “Do you want me to, um, I don’t know? Like, would a massage help?”

“I’m fine,” he says quickly. “It hasn’t killed me yet.” Except his wince almost looks pained.

I know what it feels like. The knots under the scars that never heal correctly. They tug and pull at nerve endings that never fall quiet.

I can only guess at the deep bone ache he suffers almost constantly. I wish I could take it away, even for a little while.

He’s done so much for me…yet the idea of rubbing my hands over his bare skin brings so much more than hope for his own comfort.

There’s a growing gnawing in my belly of wanting more than just the occasional brush of our hands or a hug. But I know he doesn’t want that from me.

Wouldn’t he have told me?

Heat rushes into my cheeks and spreads through my chest at the idea of him touching more of me.

Is that how it’s supposed to be? A deep void somewhere inside that is begging to be filled.

I just don’t know how.

I’ve seen glimpses at events, often behind the bleachers, of couples kissing, their hands roaming each other’s bodies and the passionate sounds that echo from between them.

Can I ever have that?

Does it feel as good as it seems?

I’m terrified to find out.

Turning the pages of my history text, I don’t comprehend the words in front of me. Instead my mind is racing with all of the ways I want to learn more from Cade, but don’t know how to ask.

I’m being stupid though. It’s barely been a week since Christmas?

He lost his parents.

He saved me. That doesn’t mean he wants me.

Not that I blame him. I’m broken in so many ways that I know it frustrates him.