Page 56 of Reins

“Mmm. Yea. My mom found it. I guess I wrote in there that I thought a boy at school was cute.” Her thumb drifts across my scarred forearm. “She didn’t like it. I got punished and that’s when I started homeschool.”

I wince into the darkness. That would have been around the time I was dating Ava.

Their mom was taking it out on Rosalyn that Ava was already out of their control.

Fuck.

“Is it wrong?” Her question is so quiet I barely understand her.

“Is what wrong?” I ask drowsily. The pattern she’s tracing along my elbow is making my head buzz but it’s also relaxing in a way I didn’t know I needed.

There’s a long pause. Almost enough that I start to doze off.

But when she finally speaks, it’s as if a bucket of cold water douses me.

“If I think a guy is cute?” Her fingers freeze on my arm.

Shit. Isn’t that what she called me?

I take a moment to weigh my reply. “I don’t think admiring someone you think is good looking is a bad thing.”

Just please don’t be me. I can’t be the man she needs. I’m too fucking broken myself. She deserves someone who has more to offer than the regret and isolation that I wallow in.

There has to be someone out there who can appreciate how incredible she is like I do.

God damn it.

She is incredible. She has more inner strength in her little finger than I do in my whole body.

“I like that,” she mumbles. “I like you, you make me feel safe.”

How do I respond to that? Coming from her, I can’t imagine a bigger compliment.

I don’t. I sit there dumbfounded until her breathing levels and her hand stills on my arm.

She makes me want to move mountains to protect her.

I’ll do anything so she always feels that way around me.

Rosalyn’s palm flattens on my shoulder as she nestles closer.

Huh. I can see her. It’s morning?

I slept better next to her than I have in ages. Maybe it’s because the bed is a hell of a lot more comfortable than the couch.

Or did I finally find a little peace being next to her?

I must be getting old. Being in the same bed with her and all I do is want to sleep?

Hope I didn’t snore.

Moving slowly, I let her hand rest gently on the warm spot I vacate and light foot it to the bathroom.

Ahh, there’s the proof of lying next to a pretty girl all night.

My damn dick wants me to pee in my own face. I practically have to Superman over the toilet to hit the mark.

Guess I’m not dead yet.