Page 41 of Reins

I try not to sigh as I start stirring the eggs again, while she moves behind me to get a cup of coffee.

“There’s milk in the fridge.” I toss the words over my shoulder without looking. “Sugar in the mason jar on the counter.”

It’s crazy to almost feel sad she doesn’t look at me any differently. I’d be happy to be viewed as a human, instead of, no matter what, still someone to be pitied.

That’s my least favorite emotion.

“Did you want some more coffee?” She appears at my elbow, rising onto her toes to peek into my cup.

“Sure, thanks,” I grunt. It’ll be easier for both of us if I just keep her at arm’s length.

I’ll take solace in that single act of comfort she offered me last night when I learned the truth about the accident.

“I was thinking about stopping and talking to Val about her meeting with Eli on the way back to your place? I want to see if he said anything enlightening when she turned him down.” Sometimes anger has a way of erupting a genuine admission.

“Okay.” Her fingers wrap the mug as she curls herself into the kitchen chair. “Can I stay in the car? I’m not, uh, a people person.”

“You and me both,” I mutter. “Yea, I’m fine with that. I don’t think it’ll take long.” I plate up the scrambled eggs with some toast smeared with butter. Sliding it in front of her, I push the pictures aside on the table.

“Maybe when we get back, you can use those eagle eyes to help me see if anything looks amiss on the rest of the wreck.” I want her to feel at ease, but no sooner do the words leave my mouth than her nose wrinkles.

“I’m not special. It was luck, nothing else.” She picks at the corner of the bread, pulling a crumb off to nibble.

Fuck. My body may be damaged, but her soul is broken.

“Don’t do that,” I growl. “You’re a smart, capable woman who saw something I didn’t. I’ve been staring at those pictures for over a decade and never caught what you did in a glance.”

Her cheeks pale and her bottom lip disappears between her teeth. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

God damn it, I want to shake her like a glowstick until she sees how strong and capable she really is.

Better yet, I want to punish the people who have knocked her down her entire life.

After letting out a long breath, I measure my tone before talking again. “Ros, you don’t need to shrink yourself anymore. You won’t scare me off and I won’t judge you for being you.” I reach out and poke my finger against her kneecap in what I hope comes across as a playful gesture. “But you acting like you’re not important and your opinions don’t matter will tick me off faster than anything. So please be sassy, smart, sarcastic, whatever the hell you want to be.”

Her bright blue eyes shine with unshed tears. “Even if I say something stupid? You’d still like me?”

My chest gets tight. All she wants is for anyone to accept her, even me?

“Always, Ros.” Gravel somehow gets into my throat and tinges my words. “You don’t need a shield with me.” Stabbing my fork into my food gives me a distraction from having to see anymore pain across her features.

I don’t have many friends, but I’ll be one for her if that’s what she needs.

Every time I look down at my plate, I can feel her gaze boring into me.

“Did you have anyone to help you after the accident?” she asks after a long silence.

Her question takes me by surprise. I haven’t thought about that part of my life for a really long time.

“I was in the hospital for a while. My brother helped patch me up in the beginning.” I let out a long sigh. “But then when it came out that it looked like I was the one driving, I didn’t see him again.”

I lost everything that night. At least when Mom calls I’ll finally have some good news.

“Ava used to do that for me.” She’s so quiet I can barely hear her.

It takes me a moment to process what she said.

“She used to doctor you up?” My forehead wrinkles as I squint at her. “Did you fall off your horse?”