Page 54 of The Red Moon

Nik enters the circle and helps me stand, hooking his arms underneath mine when my legs give out. “Breathe. You’re going to be okay.”

Tears blur over the motionless image of Jade in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks and neck. “She’s … I did this. I killed her!”

He hushes me softly and brings his palm to the side of my face. “She will live. Might have a few scars, but she won’t die today. I promise.” Nik lifts me into his arms, holding me close to his chest as he splits the crowd of wolves. Indistinct whispers follow us, not that I could channel my hearing right now even if I tried.

I won the fight. And lost a piece of my soul in the process.

THIRTY-FOUR

NIK

“She wasn’t ready for that,” Dimitri says to my back as I carry my unconscious little wolf to our room, if I can remember the way through this fucking maze, that is. Peering down at her every few steps has done nothing but make it impossible to maneuver the hall splitting off in three different directions.

“She might’ve been too prepared for that fight, moy brat,” I scoff over my shoulder and bank the next right, hoping it will lead to a familiar hallway. Another dead end. And when I try to step around Dimitri, he boxes us in, arms outstretched.

“She could’ve been killed, Nikolai. She could’ve killed someone.”

I stare down at Natalia curling into herself in my arms, cheek nestled against my chest. “She’s fine, Dimitri. She just needs to sleep it off.”

“Is she? What happens when Ms. Nat wakes up and sees the damage she caused? What she did to Jade?” His voice booms through the maze, highlighting the dead ends. One way out still echoes with the remnants of his voice, and despite his wishes to stop me, all he’s done is show me how to get the hell out of here.

“Jade is the one that deserves your pity right now. The only thing Natalia did was humble her.” I slide beneath his large arm and follow the areas his faint voice carries. “You and I both know the heiress would’ve kept pushing until someone pushed back.”

Dimitri slams his fist into the wall and dust rains down from the ceiling. “Ida felt bloodlust, too, you know?” he seethes, his voice on the verge of cracking. “If she learned to control it, maybe your father wouldn’t have found out what you did. Maybe she’d still be here with⁠—"

“She is not Ida, Dimitri!” I scream and cut him off before I can stop myself. “Natalia is not your responsibility!”

My best friend, my brother, doesn’t respond. He stares at his feet, choking back what he can. I try and block out the sound of his heart working double-time. It doesn’t work.

It would appear you’ve upset the big one, my wolf says, and I force my guards up before he can add another reproachful voice in my head. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean …” The words I want to say evaporate the second I reopen my mouth. The guilt of Ida’s death has remained a constant to me even after all these years. One we rarely speak of unless it’s to simply honor her memory. What he doesn’t know is how every time I see the scars on my chest, I see her. The little sister who followed us through the woods at the compound. The Ida before she couldn’t leave her bed. Before my father found out I added her to the pack without his permission. Her death is a regret I’ll always carry. Protecting her from Vlad Vostik wasn’t Dimitri’s responsibility. It was mine.

Dimitri nods in understanding, sights still glued to the floors of the maze.

“I failed Ida,” I say, fighting back the tears stinging my eyes. “I failed your family, and I won’t fail again. Not with her. I’ll gladly sacrifice her humanity if it means she stays alive.” And as soon as the words leave my lips, my chest tightens with shame. There’s only one wolf I’ve ever known that wouldn’t apologize for his ferocity. For being the monster our kind is rumored to be. A cruel chuckle escapes me. “Maybe I’m no different than my father, after all.”

“You are not your father, Nikolai,” he says, still refusing to meet my gaze.

The big one is right. My wolf’s voice breaks free from the mental chains I put in place.

“But I am still his son,” I say to them both. “I’m not innocent. I didn’t just turn a blind eye to the heinous shit he was doing. I fucking helped him. It doesn’t matter how irredeemable the humans I took were. At the end of the day, I am still no different from him. I am a Vostik.”

Dimitri shakes his head and places his palm on my shoulder. “Your name doesn’t change who you are. You might share his blood but that’s where your likeness to him ends. You found a way to survive without becoming a monster. Don’t make Ms. Nat become one because you’re afraid what might happen to her if she doesn’t.”

“I can’t lose her, Dimitri. Not again.”

His lengthy brow draws serious, eyes narrowing on mine. “Then don’t. Train her. Teach her to control it the right way.”

“And how might I do that?” I scoff. The right way. Funny, I can’t imagine there’s a right way to navigate the curse that’s infested my family’s blood for generations. I might not be my father according to Dimitri, but I’m still cut from the same self-destructive cloth.

He tilts his head to the side, scratching at the thickest part of his beard. “When you spoke to her in the chamber, I noticed something. How her eyes went from a rabid dog to human. I’ve seen this happen before. A wolf stopping themselves at their most bloodthirsty. And that was with you, Nikolai. She pulled you back from the brink the same way you brought her back.” He smiles at me first, then at Natalia still fast asleep in my arms. “Maybe that’s somewhere to start.”

I nod, and we follow the path in silence. It isn’t until we reach the familiar hallway of the west wing that I notice we’re not alone. Leaning against the wall next to my room, the small silhouette of Alexey comes into view, and given the amount of silver dusting his shoulders and welding apron, it’s surprising I didn’t catch his scent or the toxic metal sooner.

“Where the hell have you two been?” he says, then glances down. “Oh, uhm, you three. Is the princess all right?”

“She’ll be fine,” I assure him, pushing the door open with the toe of my boot. “Did you meet with Clément?”

A sly smirk tugs at one side of his face. “I met with alpha. He’s on board.”