Page 66 of Almost Ours
“Ruby,” I manage through breaths, “you’re not breaking the window.”
“How do you know?!”
“Because if you broke it, you’d be on the ground by now.”
“That is NOT reassuring!”
“Just—stop moving.”
“I CAN’T STOP MOVING, I’M STUCK IN A WINDOW AND MY ARSE IS MAKING NOISES.”
I lose the battle—a laugh punches out of me before I can stop it. I have to lean my head away from her to get control of myself.
“THIS IS NOT FUNNY, JOSH! IT IS HUMILIATING.”
“A little,” I agree, still laughing.
“JOSHUA, I SWEAR TO GOD—”
“Okay, okay,” I try to sober quickly before she commits murder, “let’s get you out.” I steady myself again and lift my hands, placing them more firmly on her waist. “Alright,” I tell her, “This time—no dramatics.”
“It won’t be dramatic if you actually PULL ME OUT!”
“Ruby, you’re wedged into a hole half your size.”
“ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!”
“Do I look crazy? Of course not.”
She gasps. “You’re bullying a woman in distress!”
“You’re bullying your saviour!”
“THE WINDOW IS BULLYING ME! OH MY GOD, IT’S GOING TO SNAP. I CAN FEEL IT. I CAN FEEL THE BUILDING AROUND ME—”
“Ruby, stop,” I’m laughing so hard my voice cracks. “The building is fine.”
“I’M THE TITANIC AND THIS WINDOW IS THE ICEBERG!”
“You’re not the Titanic.”
“I AM! AND YOU’RE STOOD THERE ALL ‘OOOH LOOK SHE’S SINKING.’”
“Ruby—”
“SAVE ME, JACK!”
“I swear to God—”
Her hands slip down the wall, her torso jerks forward, and suddenly the window gives one violent, irritated shudder.
“OH—OH MY—JOSH—”
“I’ve got you—”
And then she’s falling. She drops straight out of the window like a sack of extremely mouthy potatoes, and my arms snap around her, colliding with me chest-first, sending us both stumbling back a couple of steps until my back hits the brick wall.
Her arms clamp around my shoulders. Her face slams into my collarbone. Her bunny ears whack me in the chin. She’s warm and breathless and clinging to me as if I pulled her out of a burning building.
