Page 55 of Almost Ours

“Not even during Freshers?”

“Nah.”

Cam studies me for a second. His eyes move over my face like he’s trying to work something out “You’re a bit of a closed book, aren’t you?”

“I’ve been told so.”

The bartender slides his pint forward. Cam grabs it, taps the base lightly against my glass in a small cheers, and takes a sip. “So,” he says, setting the pint down, “who’s the girl?”

“What girl?”

“The one over there,” Cam keeps his chin still and moves his eyes to a spot to the left of me. “She’s staring right at us.”

I turn my head to look. Bonnie is standing near a table, arms folded, eyes locked on me. No expression on her face. She’s dressed for a night out, red lipstick staining her lips and a tight black dress on her.

Fuck this.

I can’t spend my whole uni experience doing this.

What is she doing in this pub anyway? It’s all boys. She’s the only girl. Shouldn’t she be off making friends and living life? Isn’t that what I’m trying to do? Live my life for the brother I lost? Shouldn’t she be doing it for the boy she loved?

As our eyes meet, I’m amazed I feel nothing. I used to think she was the most beautiful, dazzling girl I’d ever seen. She still is beautiful, but the feelings it used to evoke in me have gone. Bonnie looks right back at me, almost daring me to do something about her presence.

I don’t want to go over there. I want her to go away.

“Well?” Cam presses, drawing my attention back to him.

“She’s my brother’s ex.” I lie, feeling sick with it. Or is it a lie? I don’t fucking know anymore.

Cam raises his eyebrows once. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He looks at Bonnie again. “She doesn’t look happy.”

“Not really my problem, to be honest, mate. It’s nothing to do with me.”

“Reckon she’s on her own?”

I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. “Again, not my problem.”

Cam lets out a low whistle. “Alright.”

“Sorry,” I take the bite out of my tone. “It’s all a bit complicated.”

“Clearly.” He rasps his knuckles on the bar once. “All the more reason to get on the razz, isn’t it?” Clapping a hand on my shoulder, he turns me slightly to face him. “We’re gonna meet up with Oscar’s girlfriend and his sister Ruby soon, you should come with.” My heart kicks at the mention of Ruby’s name. It was nice to see her today. Cam nudges my arm. “Come and sit with me and O.” He gestures toward the table where he’s sitting.

Oscar is sat, surrounded by football boys. There’s an air of respect that follows him. When he talks, they all fall silence. When he makes a joke, they all laugh. When he tells them what to do, they listen.

We walk over, and Oscar looks up at the exact moment we reach the table. “Alright, Josh?” He smiles, friendly and welcoming. “Grab a stool.” He finishes whatever point he was making to the lads across the table, then turns his attention back to me. “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I breathe out, hoping for once in my miserable fucking existence I don’t make it awkward. I do my best to channel James. Please let these people like me. “You?”

“Yeah, all good mate.”

Cam drops into the seat on Oscar’s other side, taking a long sip of his pint. “Josh is mysterious. I like it. Hey! He kind of reminds me of Emma.”

“Emma?” I echo, frowning. “Who is Emma?”