Page 53 of Almost Ours

“It’s Glow Jobs,” I correct, my entire body heating up. “Glow. The party. Not blowjobs.”

A deep laugh rumbles out of him. “Are you sure?”

“Why?” I shoot back. “Have you got a fetish for glow sticks the group should be aware of, Josh?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Because sharing is caring,” I say, folding my arms, “and we’d be fascinated to know.”

“Would you?”

“Of course.” I nod, trying not to burst out laughing. “We’re a very open-minded group.”

“I’d hope so. You’re the one buying glow sticks for blowjobs.” He lifts an elbow and rests it on top of a rail, cocking his head to the side. “Anything you want to share?”

“It’s Glow Jobs.” I correct again but feel myself grin at him. I can't remember the last time flirting felt fun instead of terrifying. “Are you coming?”

“I imagine there’s a lot of coming in a blowjob party.”

“That’s what she said.”

Josh throws his head back and laughs.

It fills me with a sense of pride, and a feeling I’m not used to starts blooming in my chest. “So? Are you coming?”

He sobers. “Where is it?”

“The Shed.”

“Maybe.” His eyes twinkle. I like it so much I wish I could take a picture of it. “But I told your brother that I’d hang out with the football lot, so it depends on where they end up.”

“Right," I nod, fighting off the tiny pang of disappointment that catches me off guard.

“If we’re nearby,” his voice deepens, causing a ripple of lust to hit me, “I’ll come.”

“Okay.” What else can I say? No! Don’t hang out with my brother, your football captain, the coolest person I know! Hang out with me instead!

Ewan presses a quick kiss to the top of Brooke’s head. “You having pres?”

Brooke nods once. “The boys from the opposite hall invited us to theirs. We thought we might go there.”

Ewan studies her face. It isn’t suspicion, checking she’s comfortable. “They seem alright?”

“I think so?”

Ewan’s shoulders ease slightly. “Alright. Message me when you’re there.”

Brooke rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “We’re literally going to be five minutes away, Ewan.”

“Still,” he’s firm with it.

Abi elbows me subtly. “Look at him. Being all… boyfriend.”

I don’t comment. I’m too busy watching the way Ewan softens around Brooke. God, I want that. I’m envious of it. I’ve never had a cutesy, caring, true love. No one has looked at me the way Oscar looks at Emma or Ewan does Brooke.

It all seems to come so easily to them. I don’t even get how you’re supposed to meet someone you like that much. What comes first? Is it the attraction? Because there’s plenty of people I’m attracted to, but it never goes beyond that. Maybe that’s a me problem. Maybe it’s because I’m so fucked up from everything that happened.

Ewan squeezes Brooke’s waist gently. “I’ll see you after?”