Page 45 of Almost Ours

RUBY (22:05): He wasn’t saying anything bad was he? I never replied to his text x

JOSH (22:06): Nah, he was just asking about you. Nothing bad. You’re all good. X

RUBY (22:07): Okay good! I’ll reply tomorrow. What did he ask? X

JOSH (22:09): Just whether anyone knew you and if you were seeing someone. Bit random tbh x

RUBY (22:10): Oh!! What did you tell him? X

JOSH (22:12): That I didn’t know. Figured that was safer than answering for you. X

RUBY (22:13): Very diplomatic of you, I guess.

JOSH (22:15): I’m a Law student. It’s in the training ;) x

RUBY (22:16): Give over! You’ve had about four lectures! You’re about as much of a lawyer as I am an author x

JOSH (22:18): Still more qualified than you!

RUBY (22:19): I was never the one claiming to be qualified. And for future reference, I’m not seeing anyone x

JOSH (22:24): Good to know x

RUBY (22:25): Is it? ;)

JOSH (22:31): Meant for next time someone asks

RUBY (22:32): Of course you did x

JOSH (22:36): Night Ruby x

RUBY (22:38): Night Josh xx

The anger is gone until Oscar texts twenty minutes later.

OSCAR (23:00): You doing okay?

I resist the urge to reply, ‘no, now fuck off’ and wisely choose not to reply at all.

Chapter Twelve

Friday

October 16th 2015

Joshua:

On Friday night, when I finally get into bed, I realise I feel empty. Not in an over-the-top way. Just sort of... numb. Exhausted. Which isn’t new to me. I seem to swing between feeling too much and not much of anything at all.

I’m trying to let it sink in that I’m at uni, that I’ve made it through my first week without James. Bonnie’s here, and I see her around more than I’d like. I’m on the Firsts. I met a girl called Ruby, and she’s become part of every day I’ve had here so far.

I know all of that has happened. I just can’t seem to feel it.

The whole thing with the swan has been the best part of my time here, which probably says a lot about the state of me. I keep coming back to Ruby bent double laughing because I hissed at the bird, the look she gave me when I told her it hissed first, taking the piss out of my trainers all the way back to Hussey and then carrying on taking the piss out of me every day since.

On Thursday, we had Nando’s with Ewan and Brooke, drank a bottle of wine and ended in her kitchen singing Amy Winehouse’s Valerie. Ruby coaxed me into it, and even though I’d rather chew my own arm off than sing in front of people, I relented to her. She was dancing around the kitchen and belting it out so badly, only stopping to say, come on Josh, I know you know the words, that I ended up giving in.

By the end of it we were both half-shouting the chorus, completely out of breath and laughing so much I could barely get the words out.