Page 104 of Almost Ours

“Of course I do!”

“How could you?”

“BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO YOU.” The words rip out of me and I let go of her other wrist, fighting myself as everything I have been trying to keep buried comes straight to the surface. “I came outside and you were shaking so hard you could barely stand, you had blood all over your hands and half your fucking face was black and blue, and I didn’t even know whose blood it was because you didn’t know whose blood it was.” I point helplessly at her face, anger and fear tangling so badly inside me I feel out of my mind. “Look at you, Rubes! Look at what they fucking did to you!”

“And what they could have done to you!”

“Oh, who gives a fuck when you look like that?” I step closer to her. “You think seeing you like this doesn’t fucking wreck me?” My breath is coming too fast. “It feels like somebody has taken a fucking sledgehammer to my chest. How was I supposed to stay standing there and let them get away? How could I let you walk around campus if they were roaming free? I didn’t give a shit how many of them there were or what they had on them, but I sure as shit knew I was going to stop them.”

Ruby’s mouth parts, but whatever she was about to shout at me disappears. Her brows pull together and fresh tears gather in her bloodshot eyes.

“I know it was stupid,” I quietly admit, dragging in a breath and wanting so badly to hold her. “I know I scared you and I know I should have listened when you told me to stay, but you can’t stand there and tell me I don’t know. I fucking know.”

She shakes her head and wipes beneath her good eye with the heel of her hand, angry at herself for crying. “You can’t do that to me.”

The fight leaves me. “I’m sorry. I know I fucked up. I should have stayed for you. I shouldn’t have made you panic more. I should have been here.”

She blows out a ragged breath. “Well, no, actually because knowing they’ve been caught makes everything so much easier.”

That takes me by complete surprise. “What?”

“I said I was scared for you, Josh, not that I wanted them to get away with it.” She wipes at her face again, this time more carefully around the swelling. “I’m fucking furious you ran off into the dark like some deranged vigilante, but I’m also relieved they’re not wandering around campus, that they didn’t get away.”

I look past her towards the police cars, where both men are being kept apart while officers move between them and the crowd, and some of the shame loosens its grip on me because I understand what she means.

None of what I did was clever, but at least she won’t have to lie awake wondering whether she’ll see either of their faces again in the library, outside a lecture hall or standing at the bar in The Shed as though tonight never happened.

Ruby follows my gaze and folds her arms. “They nearly…” Her voice breaks before she finishes, and she looks away sharply, rapidly blinking back tears.

“Rubes.” I step closer to her. “I’m going to hold you now, okay? I need to hold you. And if you don’t want me to, you just tell me. I’ll do whatever you tell me.”

She looks back at me with her good eye, and I really think she might tell me to piss off, but instead her arms drop from where they’re folded across her middle and she gives me the smallest nod.

I move carefully.

One arm goes around her waist while the other settles high across her back, avoiding anywhere she might hurt, and the second she leans into me, my heart feels like it can beat normally again.

Ruby presses the uninjured side of her face into my jumper and grips the back of the fabric with both hands. I lower my chin into her hair, taking in that smell I’ve grown to love. The cherries and strawberries, and that slightly sweet perfume.

She is shaking against me in small, uneven bursts, every few breaths, and I keep my hold steady.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur into her hair. “For running.”

“I’m sorry for shouting at you.” She murmurs right back.

“You don’t need to be sorry for that. I deserved it.”

“I thought something really bad was going to happen to you.”

“Well, I’m here,” I tell her, feeling a shiver run through me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Do you promise, Josh?”

Swallowing over the lump in my throat, I hear myself say, “Yeah, Ruby. I promise.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Saturday