Page 10 of Promises Kept

Alec sat back. So that was the problem. Sammy.

Alec’s chest felt tight. He’d always known Dylan’s old lover Sammy held a special place in Dylan’s heart. He’d nursed Sammy through AIDS, seen him die painfully and slowly, that would always stay with Dylan. And Alec also knew after Sammy’s death, Dylan had descended into a spiral of self-destruction, booze, and drugs that spun him out of control. It had been Bennett who’d brought Dylan out of his despair and used tough love to get him back to the man he’d been. For that alone, Alec would be forever grateful to Bennett.

Dylan left his chair and knelt before Alec, placing his hands on his thighs and looking up with red-rimmed blue eyes. “And I know it’s stupid, that it’s not him, it’s only his ashes, but I’ve always been able to go to the cemetery where he is and talk to him, tell him about my life. About you. I’ve always felt a connection to him there. And that’s not going to be the same anymore. So, I lashed out at you. The last person who deserved it.”

“But it’s been over twenty years, honey,” Alec said gently even as his heart hurt and his head swam with the fact that Dylan was still attached to his deceased lover. “And you know Sammy lives here,” he placed his hand flat on Dylan’s chest, “and not in some fancy urn at a funeral home. He’ll never really be gone.”

“I know that, a thaisce,” Dylan murmured, stroking the overhanging hair from Alec’s forehead with gentle fingers. “I know that. But then I remembered what I experienced in the dressing room that day at the theatre, when I thought I saw Sammy’s ghost. What if they take his ashes away and his ghost disappears, what if he can’t find himself anymore?”

He shook his head. “I know I’m being completely irrational, and you know I’m Catholic, even if I am lapsed, but old habits don’t die. I had the hellfire and brimstone drummed into me since I was a lad, and I suppose I worry about his soul leaving me behind completely. Forgetting me and our conversations.” His tone was wistful, and Alec swallowed, trying to keep a clear head in the mire of emotions racing through his body.

“Babe, I understand, I truly do. It’s not irrational. It’s emotional. But you also know as a rational human being that memories live on, and that Sammy will always be with you.” Alec’s voice choked. “Life is for the living, Dylan. And you still have me.”

Dylan moved to sit beside him then pulled him closer. Alec smelt his man’s fragrance, smoke, sandalwood, and something so familiar he wanted to reach out and grab it, bottle it so it would always be with him.

Dylan’s mouth nuzzled the side of Alec’s neck as he whispered into his ear. “Sweetheart, I know, and that’s exactly why I didn’t want to speak to you about it. I felt it was disrespectful saying something like that to you because you’re here and he’s gone. I felt stupid for even thinking what I was thinking. Alec, a ghrá mo chroí, you’re my here and now and I love you so much sometimes I can hardly breathe for it. I didn’t think it was fair to lay all that on you, make you think you weren’t important. You have to know, you’re the most important person in my world. Tá grá agam duit. I love you.”

His lips found Alec’s in a gentle kiss, and he opened his mouth to receive Dylan, warm breath fanning Alec before receiving the divine taste of his lover on his lips. As always, it was everything he’d ever wanted—passion, warmth, love, and home. When they finally Drew apart, Dylan rested his forehead against Alec’s.

“I’m being a crazy bastard, I know. And I’ll get over it, because it’s not that big a deal really. And I’m sorry I growled at you and said those things. I didn’t want to hurt you with my maudlin, and I wound up hurting you anyway. I’m an arse.”

Alec reached up and framed Dylan’s face with his hands. “You are, and you’re not. I understand what you intended, but don’t ever make the mistake of not talking to me about stuff that bothers you. I want to know. That’s what couples do. Tá grá agam duit too. Very much.”

Dylan grimaced. “My knees are killing me. I don’t mind going down on them, but generally I have your dick in my mouth when I do that and it’s a helluva lot more fun. Can we stand up?”

Alec laughed and got to his feet, as Dylan held onto him as he rose. “My old man. What the hell am I going to do with you?”

Dylan pulled him in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the last and definitely with the suggestion of going much further if the bulge in his trousers was anything to go by. “Just keep me, a thaisce. Just keep me.”

Alec reached out affectionately to stroke stray blond-grey strands of hair behind Dylan’s ear. He was still the sexiest man Alec knew, and the grey hairs added an air of distinguished elegance to him.

“Mo ghrá, you’re mine forever.” Alec’s murmured Irish endearment appeared to placate Dylan somewhat as his lips curved into a slight smile. Alec had picked up a few choice phrases in his time with his irascible Irishman. He pressed on. “I know you’re feeling a little bored at the moment, what with figuring out a new screenplay and Lonely Dove about to finish. You have no one to shout at and boss around except me.” He grinned.

“But you’ll find something to keep you busy. And we are going away to Dorset in a couple of weeks’ time. So that will be our weekend for sex and eating and drinking…all your favourite things to do with me.”

He pulled Dylan in to him and kissed him fiercely, trying to impart everything he felt for the man he loved into that kiss. Dylan sighed and gripped his hands, pressing himself against Alec. The man was already hard, and Alec had the satisfied feeling that this might move to the bedroom soon. Or on the couch. Or the kitchen table. Both he and his lover enjoyed the variety of making love on every surface in the flat.

As he pushed his tongue into Dylan’s ear, causing him to gasp in pleasure, and hands reached for shirts tucked in trousers to remove clothing, Alec had the feeling he’d distracted Dylan, at least for a little while.