Page 16 of Sight Unseen

From the silence on the other end of the phone, I gathered Nate was remembering too. The incident we weren’t allowed to discuss, those stolen nights when we’d been one were too painful to recollect and I pushed them back into their space beside my heart.

Clearing my throat, I asked, “So, do you need anything for the house?”

“You,” was Nate’s soft reply and my heart clenched. “Please come over for dinner. Forget what Jon said. I need my best bud.”

I swallowed, my throat aching at those two innocent words that always destroyed my world. “Sure. I’ll come over.” I’d have to call Dev and put off our prospective night of debauchery. He’d understand. “I’ll bring beer. We can hang out.”

“Thanks. It’s been a bit much, being home for the first time since the accident. I need things to be real, and you’re as real as it gets.”

I heard the affection in his voice and chuckled. “You with your compliments, making a man blush.”

I glanced down at my tattered board shorts, sandals and tank top and grimaced. Maybe I should go home and change so Jon wasn’t offended when I sat on his couch in my less-than-stellar clothing. Then I thought, nah, fuck him. He was the reason I wasn’t at the hospital when Nate left, and I wasn’t with Nate now. At the very least, Jon deserved to suffer my attire.

I messaged Dev to call off our date and set off to see Nate.

***

As predicted, Jon hadn’t been happy to see me when I arrived around five o’clock. I smirked, waved a hand airily in Nate’s direction as he sat on the sofa, and plonked myself down next to my best friend.

Jon muttered something about calling his agent, threw me a dirty look and disappeared onto the deck, shutting the glass doors behind him.

I placed a hand on Nate’s knee, and leaned in and kissed his forehead. “So how are you really doing?”

He smelt like Nate—vanilla, mint and spice—but his beautiful brown eyes were distant with charcoal smudges underneath like dark sad smiles, and he’d lost weight. He was still my Nate though.

Thick brown hair touched with lustrous red tints, his pale skin freckled, and generous lips now being bit down in nervousness, which was new. His capable hands fidgeted in his lap; strong, hair-flecked hands that I loved to watch sculpt ordinary clay into sheer genius.

Nate shrugged. “I’m doing good.”

In most ways, he looked as if the accident had never happened. If you hadn’t known he couldn’t see, it wouldn’t have been obvious, apart from a fading scar on his forehead.

I’d done a lot of reading since the accident and learned that blind people show expression on their faces the same as anyone else; they didn’t all stare fixedly behind or away from you. Their eyes could still show emotion. However, despite Nate’s words, the tic at the corner of his mouth told me he wasn’t okay.

“So, you fancy having car sex, huh? I’m sure you’d convince Jon somehow,” I joked. We’d get into the serious stuff in a minute.

Nate snorted as he sat back. “Not likely. For some reason he has a bee in his bonnet about it. Thinks it’s tacky.” He cocked his head and his beautiful eyes looked at me. “So you’re quite the expert, getting off with guys in your beat-up old Chevy?”

I laughed. “I’m not that much of a slut. But yeah, I guess I’ve done it a few times.”

Nate’s eyes narrowed. “You made it sound like a regular occurrence when we spoke earlier.” I ignored his tone. It couldn’t possibly be what I thought it was.

Nate reached up and his hands moved uncertainly in front of my face. “Can I touch you?” he asked softly. “I know your face so well in my mind but I want to see what it feels like now that I can’t see. I want to feel if it looks the same to my fingers.” There was no trace of self-pity, only a weary matter-of-fact flatness in his voice that broke my heart.

I swallowed and lifted his hands to my cheeks. “Sure.”

Way to torment me, Nate.

Gently, Nate began to move his fingers and hands down my jawline, brushing the clipped stubble on my chin and upper lip with his thumb. I swallowed, and held my breath as Nate’s hands traveled slowly across and down my face, touching me in a way he’d never done before. The movements were slow and sensuous, sending tingles over my skin, making my groin ache. My chest tightened at the rapt expression on Nate’s face as he mapped me, got to know me through touch alone.

I blinked back hot tears, not wanting him to feel my wet cheeks. Then I closed my eyes, wanting to feel the sensation of those calloused and tender fingers without seeing what he was doing. Perhaps I’d get an idea how Nate felt using his other senses to explore his new world.

The way his hands explored my face reminded me of when he sculpted, how he made love to his clay. He’d always been tactile, and what he did now to my face left me breathless.

I couldn’t help my cock pushing against my loose shorts and I picked up a cushion and held it across my lap in case Nate brushed his arm against me and caught my boner. That wouldn’t be welcome, not to mention Jon was out on the deck still talking on the phone.

Nate’s fingers found my lips, and I couldn’t help parting them and finally letting out a pent-up sigh. I wanted to lick his fingers, suck them into my mouth and watch his face as I did it.

He paused, his eyes narrowing, and something, some indefinable current, ran between us. I ignored it. It was something I knew Nate didn’t want or need, especially at this time of his life. He’d told me that a long time ago, and I’d tried to respect it ever since.