Page 38 of The Fall I Fell

Both the boys stood to attention and awaited their next order in silence as I directed us all to the bus stop. Jacob didn’t speak for the duration of the journey – he stared out of the rain-stained windows, watching the city go by. It’s not like we passed anywhere particularly exciting – no Buckingham Palace, no Big Ben, no Trafalgar Square. Just the city roads were enough to captivate him.

We pulled up to the venue with plenty of time to spare, and found Freya, her girlfriend Ash, Oscar, and a few others from the friend group sitting at the patio table and chairs outside the café next door.

‘Oh my gosh, you must be Jacob.’ Freya stood at the bus doors and began her onslaught of chatter the moment they opened, confusing the young mum and her pram that reached the door before us.

Jacob lifted his hand in an awkward wave as Freya marvelled at him like a rare creature she’d only heard about in books. She had heard me talk about Jacob relentlessly for years without a single meeting, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if she doubted his existence entirely until now.

‘I’ve heard so much about you!’ Freya dragged him by his forearm to the table as Jacob shot me a pleading look from over his shoulder. Introducing him to all of my friends one by one, they each smiled and waved politely, but no one else seems quite as fascinated as Freya – no one but her had listened to me ramble on about him for so long.

When Callum and I reached the rest of the congregation, Oscar stood up from his seat and gestured for me to take it. Thanking him, I sat down, and he leaned against the back of the chair, making sure his forearm pressed lightly against my shoulder blades.

Oscar leaned close to talk, but spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear. ‘Before we go and see it in the flesh, I just want to say that I’m so proud of you. Whatever grade we end up with will be because of your designs. You’ve definitely carried this team.’

My cheeks flushed as I tried to avoid the eyes of everyone at the table as they seemed to find this the most interesting topic of conversation. ‘Don’t be silly. It’s been a joint effort.’

‘Well, I wanted to get you a little gift anyway.’ From under the table, he pulled out a small bouquet of flowers, the kind that had been dyed into rainbows. The petals were so heavy with artificial colour they could’ve wilted at any moment.

‘You really shouldn’t have.’ Standing up to thank him with a hug, I heard Jacob scoff under his breath next to us.

‘You alright, mate?’ Oscar addressed him for the first time, a little tension setting over his body as I drew away from the embrace.

‘She hates it when people pick flowers,’ Jacob said. ‘Why let them die for three days in a vase when you can admire them where they grow for weeks?’

Oscar opened his mouth to speak, but I caught him before he said a word.

‘No, no, these are lovely. I love them, thank you, Oscar.’ Jacob shot me a look of both disgust and confusion. He was right, of course, he always was, but I couldn’t let Oscar know that, not when he’d made such an effort. ‘Jacob’s just a country bumpkin – don’t tell him about any trees being cut down because he’d be right there hugging it.’ I laughed, and so did all of my friends, albeit awkwardly. All except Jacob, who was now sitting perfectly still, only watching me with disappointment etched on his face.

For the next hour, the whole way around the exhibition, his expression remained unmoved, as though the wind had changed and it was now stuck like that permanently.

‘Jacob—’ I tried to catch him as he paced slowly at the back of the group, but Oscar and Freya jabbered so obstinately in my ear that I was constantly dragged away to hear more of Oscar’s sickly-sweet praise, or Freya’s random chattering.

He didn’t speak to me for the remainder of the art show. I didn’t get any congratulations or even a smile when we were presented with our top grade. Even the bus was too packed on the way home for me to get close enough to him to speak. Instead, we stood, crushed like sardines in silence, trying not to fall into one another with each jolting stop.

‘Jacob.’ I finally had the space to call his name as the three of us reached our stop. ‘Are you okay?’ I had never seen him like this, so closed off, so rude. It was as if he had left his entire personality back on that platform in King’s Cross and I had spent the day with a stranger.

Callum paced on ahead, always seeming to know the best times to make himself scares.

‘Yeah, you know me,’ Jacob said sourly. ‘Just a country bumpkin overwhelmed by the bright lights and the fast pace.’ A sharpness followed his words and they stung as they landed.

‘I’m sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. You’d made them uncomfortable, Jacob. Those guys aren’t like the people you hang out with at home. They wouldn’t understand.’

‘I do apologise. I must not have been taught any manners inside that barn I was raised in.’ He scowled. ‘I was telling the truth, something you apparently don’t do down here.’

‘That’s not fair.’ I sighed. ‘I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.’

‘But you have no trouble hurting mine.’ Jacob stormed off to follow Callum.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I went after him, but his legs only ever seemed to grow longer and he reached our flat before I could catch up.

Jacob maintained his quietness at dinner too. Mum and Dad had been busy working, so they’d left some take-away food on the side for us to grab. Usually on days like these, we’d eat off in our separate rooms, but since we had a guest, the living room sofa was good enough.

‘How did it go?’ Dad asked from the doorway, still dressed in his work clothes, tie and all, as though he hadn’t had time to think about making himself comfy since he came through the door.

‘Yeah, alright,’ I murmured, and shovelled in a mouthful of noodles.

‘Just alright?’ he looked at me with furrowed brows, ‘You’ve been excited about this for months.’

‘We got an A+,’ I added, hoping it would stop him asking questions.