Page 31 of Under the Influence

I want you to be more, though.

She continues watching the game, getting all worked up when there is an error in left field. She rambles on about how he should know better.

The fire behind her eyes as she watches the game makes me feel more alive than any stupid Legacy party I’m supposed to enjoy. Her eyes glow as she watches the game, and I can’t keep from watching her. I realize it sounds childish, but I can’t help but picture her in my jersey number, watching my games. I feel her barefoot touch my leg, it only stays there for a moment, but the heat is still there.

Geez, what is wrong with me?

I keep stealing glances at her, wondering what has happened to make her so distant from everyone. She said she didn’t want to be noticed. Is that because she was popular at her old school?

“Why don’t you have social media?” I blurt, letting out an uneasy laugh.

She jerks her head my way, knitting her eyebrows together. “I don’t want it.”

I know I shouldn’t push, but I can’t help it, “You know that’s strange for a teenage girl, right?”

She yanks my phone up off the nightstand, waving it at me, “This thing cost me my old life. Everything that I thought I knew was ruined because of this.”

Wow.

I stare at her as she hands it to me, her eyes distant and hurt. I glance down at the lock screen, notifications filling the entire thing.

Is she right?

“What happened?” I ask, genuinely curious, hoping she will open up to me.

“I value my relationships now. Enough to put my phone away and spend time with the people I care about.”

Hearing the sadness in her voice with the confession, I pull her closer. “I’m sorry.”

She shrugs out of my arms, “It’s okay, Carson. I should get home before they realize I’m gone.”

I know it isn’t smart, but I feel the need to cling to her, “Or you could stay.”

“Your parents finding me here would be even worse,” she huffs, standing up and starting to pull my hoodie off.

“No, it’s okay,” I pull it back down over her torso. “Keep it.”

She looks up at me, a glisten in her eyes, “Thanks. I uh... I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She turns around, and my number on the back of the hoodie sets me off. I lock my hand around her wrist, stopping her.

Pulling her into a hug, she melts into my chest. I can feel her body go slack, and I use my thumb to angle her face up to mine. The tension between us is too much at this point. I slowly lower my lips to hers, capturing them. It’s just a simple, delicate peck, and her eyes remain closed as I pull away.

“I hope I see you every tomorrow,” I whisper roughly, still inches from her lips. I feel it, and I know she feels it too.

She nearly stumbles backward, her eyes fluttering open, the pad of her finger on her lip. “I can’t be here. You have a girlfriend, Carson.”

I step closer to her, my words nearly desperate, “No,” I defend. “It’s all a lie.”

She straddles the window, “Maybe, but it’s still wrong.”

CHAPTER

TWELVE

MADDEN

An evening spent behind my drum set is my version of perfection. Lainey and Cori liked my new song, both of them giving me hell over who inspired it. I didn't tell them, and I won't. Instead, I'll just write about the girl I can't have.