Page 79 of Let’s Be Real

She chuckled to herself. “She wouldn’t allow me to be anything else. When I tried to ignore the bad stuff rattling around in my head, she shoved me in her car and drove me to my therapist. So yes, I was good to her, but it took work on both our parts.”

There was a lot to process here, but that would come later. There was one glaring part of her story I couldn’t ignore.

“Where is she?” I asked. “Do you have her locked away somewhere?”

She pressed her lips together as she shook her head. “As far as I know, she’s still in California.”

“She didn’t come with you?”

“No. We made the decision to end things on a high note. No one wants to watch their partner go through…this.” She gestured toward her slowly fading self. “We said our last goodbye when I moved back to Denver.”

Finding this too pretty and difficult to believe, I lowered my chin and raised my brows. “A partner like you described wouldn’t just throw up her hands and say ‘farewell’ when you packed your bags to go die.”

Her answering smile was tight. “It might have been slightly less mutual than I’d described, but what does it matter? The result is the same. We’re apart now, and she can move on.”

“How long were you together?”

She grimaced as she swallowed. “It would have been fifteen years in October.”

“And you think she’s just going to move on?”

“I’ll be dead soon, Nate. She really won’t have a choice.”

We stared at each other for a long moment. It struck me hard and fast. She wasn’t as healed as she wanted me to believe. Maybe this wasn’t all a show, but some of it was. Louise wasn’t skipping excitedly into the light. She wasn’t going easy.

She might not have been as screwed up as she had been when she’d run away from her family, but she was still running. I only hoped she’d given Rebecca more of a goodbye than she had us.

“Don’t look at me that way,” she murmured. “I can see what you’re thinking. This isn’t the same. It isn’t like—” She turned her head, drawing in a rattling breath.

“Did you talk to her before you left?” I asked, more gently this time.

“I did. We talked and talked and talked until it was clear we’d come to an impasse.” She dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her robe’s sleeve. “Rebecca wanted to come with me, but I wouldn’t allow it. This time…it had to be for my boys. I owe you four that much.”

“Louise.” I groaned, tugging at my hair. “Mom. That wasn’t necessary.”

Roman had seen her twice. Ben and Adrian never. And my visits were sporadic at best. What did she do in the in-between? Why hadn’t I considered that?

“I get to decide what’s necessary.” She faced me again, resolve in her shoulders. “There’s not much else I have any say over. This, I get to choose. I love Rebecca very much. I shared my heart and life with her. I hope she’ll remember me well, but she doesn’t need me right now. Maybe you don’t either, but I’m choosing to be here in case you do. It might not make sense to you, but it doesn’t have to.”

“No, I suppose not.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Is there someone in your life?”

“There was the thought of someone.” I shook my head. “It’s been proven I’m not a good partner, so it’s probably for the best it didn’t go anywhere.”

“How was that proven?”

“There was Rosalie.”

“Hmmm…tell me about Rosalie. I don’t think I like her.”

My laugh broke through the present heaviness clogging the air. “We met in college. Her friends were convinced we were meant to be.”

“But you weren’t?”

“I did love her, but I was never what she wanted, as hard as I tried.”

“What did she want?”