Page 72 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

Tables sat low and rounded, chairs in deep earthy hues, and plants were placed like they belonged.

It was the kind of place where your coffee order felt like an accessory, where your outfit suddenly mattered a little more, and where sitting down felt less like resting and more like being part of the scene.

Because in Southside, even something as simple as brunch had to look this good.

“Why are people still soft launching like it’s a personality trait?” Andi asked, sipping her coffee, eyes on her phone.

Across the table, Andre leaned back in his chair, brow slightly furrowed. “Soft launching?” he asked. “What does that even mean?”

Honey gasped like he’d committed a crime. “Oh my God! Straight men don’t know anything!”

“I know enough,” Andre said calmly. “I just don’t know whatever that is.”

“It means,” Andi said, turning her phone toward him, “you post the guy—or the girl—but not the whole of them. Like just their hand, shoulder, shadow, existence. But never the face.”

Andre stared at the screen like a sixty-year-old with twelve grandkids. “That’s… weird.”

“It’s branding, darling,” Honey corrected. “You give people just enough to be curious, but not enough to ask questions. I love a good soft launch. Nothing but a hand, a watch, and emotional instability.”

Mel didn’t even look amused. “Or maybe,” she said, cutting into her waffle, “they’re just not ready to show the person yet.”

“And why not?” Andi shot back. “If you’re dating someone, just show them.”

Andre shrugged. “Or maybe they’re not dating.”

“Situationship,” all of them said in unison.

Then they turned to me.

“Guys,” I warned.

They looked away, barely holding in their laughs.

“That’s the point of soft launches,” Honey continued. “It’s not real so you can’t present it as real.”

I scoffed, taking a sip of my hot choco.

Andi swiped through her phone again. “Look at this,” she said. “Full story dump—coffee, legs, table, vibes—but the guy is cropped out like he’s a secret agent.”

Andre leaned forward slightly, squinting. “That’s intentional?”

“Very,” Andi said.

Honey smirked. “That’s not a boyfriend. That’s a situationship with good filter.”

I choked.

Mel tried not to smile. “You guys are so negative. Can’t we give them the benefit of the doubt?”

“And you’re in denial,” Honey shot back.

Andre leaned back again, arms crossing loosely. “Honestly,” he said, “if you can’t show the person, there’s probably a reason.”

That landed.

Victor never posted me.

Never even soft-launched me.