Page 44 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

“Roster?” I repeated.

“You need options,” she said again, like she was explaining something obvious. “Right now, you’re acting like Victor is the last man on earth. Let’s remind your body that he’s not.”

I looked down at the table, tracing the rim of my glass with my finger.

Wasn’t he though?

I hated myself for thinking that.

“James,” Andi said, softer now.

I looked up.

“You’re not trying to erase what happened,” she said. “You’re just trying to move forward from it.”

I nodded, but it didn’t feel convincing.

Mel watched me carefully. “Just… be careful, okay? Distractions don’t always fix things. Sometimes they just delay them.”

Andi groaned. “Oh my God, Mel, let the gay man live a little!”

“I am,” Mel said. “I just don’t want him to regret it.”

“He won’t.” Andi looked at me. “Get tested. Take PrEP. Use Condoms.”

“That’s my non-negotiables,” I assured them.

Then silence settled between us, as the girls turned to their phones.

But I didn’t.

I leaned back in my chair, staring past the glass window where the pool still shimmered in the afternoon light.

Could it really be that simple?

Replace the feeling?

Override the attachment?

I thought about that night a few weeks ago—the guy in his apartment—and the way it all felt easy. Temporary. Forgettable.

And how, somehow, it still led me back to Victor. To his touch. To his kiss. To his love.

I exhaled slowly.

Maybe Andi was right. Or maybe I was just looking for the fastest way out of something that didn’t have one.

Either way, I needed to try something. Because whatever I was doing right now clearly wasn’t working.

CHAPTER 6

BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH GRINDR

10:00PM.

There is something about this time of the night that feels like a trap. Like the world has finally gone quiet enough for your thoughts to get loud.

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