Page 27 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

All three of them.

The puking.

My heart started racing, like my body had decided we were still in the club and needed to survive. I looked around my room, disoriented, breathing too fast.

“What in the Mamma Mia…” I whispered.

I turned to my side⁠—

—and someone was there… sleeping next to me.

I froze.

My brain, in its fragile, post-alcohol state, made the worst possible assumption.

Which ex is this?

I grabbed the person by the shoulder and flipped them over.

“WHAT?”

Mel’s voice came out like a threat.

She squinted at me, hair a mess, face scrunched in pure irritation of someone who had just been woken up at gunpoint.

“What’s wrong with you?” she snapped, shoving my arm away.

I blinked at her.

Once. Twice. Completely confused.

Then everything rushed back all at once.

It was a sleepover. Of course.

“Oh,” I said, slightly sobering.

Mel groaned and rolled over. “If you wake me up again, I will actually end you.”

I sat there for a second in silence. Then, I heard voices and the unmistakable smell of herbs.

I got out of bed and rushed down the stairs.

When I reached the bottom, I stopped like I had just entered a different dimension.

Andi and Andre were in the kitchen cooking, like this was their apartment.

Andre was at the stove, flipping something in a pan, while Andi was leaning against the counter, sipping what looked like iced coffee, watching her like a bored housewife.

Both of them turned to look at me.

I pointed at them like a crazy person.

“You,” I told Andi. “I saw my exes last night. I’m not hallucinating, am I?”

“Good morning to you too,” she replied, taking another sip.

“You look crazy now though,” Andre added.