Page 103 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

“And once you decide that,” she continued, “you start building a whole future around a person who hasn’t even proven they deserve your present.”

I let out a quiet breath, my fingers tightening slightly around my glass.

“Can I be honest?” I said.

Honey raised a brow. “When are you not?”

I huffed a small laugh.

“I’ve heard all of this before,” I admitted. “From you, Andi, from literally every TikTok therapist I’ve followed, and from every TikTok tarot reader.”

Honey didn’t interrupt but judged me on the tarot reader part.

“What?” I said. “I need a coping mechanism when I was down. And the tarot readers are really compelling.”

“So what’s next, you believe in God?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes.

“Anyway, it all makes sense,” I continued. “Like, logically? I get it. I understand all the advice. I can even repeat it back word for word if you want.”

I shook my head, a little frustrated.

“But why doesn’t it land soul-deep?”

The question hung there.

Heavy.

Real.

“Why does it feel like I know everything that’s wrong with him—every red flag, every inconsistency, every moment that should’ve been enough for me to move on. And yet I still end up back at the same place.”

I looked down at my drink.

“I always come back to the good parts,” I said. “The way he looked at me at that drag bar. The way he made things feel easy. The fantasies of possibilities if we never ended. And it’s like… no matter how much I try to focus on the bad, my mind keeps going back to the version of him that felt right.”

I let out a breath, almost a laugh.

“It’s actually exhausting,” I said, looking away. “It feels like I’m going backwards.”

Honey let the question sit between us, like it deserved its own space.

Then she sighed softly, not annoyed, but understanding.

“Because you’re not trying to move on,” she said.

I frowned. “What?”

“You think you are,” she continued, calm, steady. “But you’re not actually choosing to let him go.”

I blinked. “Then what am I doing?”

“You’re trying to make it make sense instead of moving on.”

That hit.

“You keep going back to the good parts?” she went on. “It’s not because you forgot the bad parts, but because you’re hoping the good parts were the real ones.”