Page 78 of Heavy Crown

“I didn’t ask for any commentary on Rory.” I grab a pen off my desk and twirl it in thought. Trust Nick to encourage me into an affair one minute and convince me it was a bad idea the next. “However, those are all valid reasons for not approaching Queen Helen. She’ll put a stop to any investigation.” I eye Julia. “I’ve never had to worry about trusting you before.”

She sighs. “You can trust me now. We can scrutinize all the documents and laws. We’ve all assumed the restriction was a law because the king and queen were so insistent, but I don’t know if that’s true.” She glances at Nick. “Do you?”

He shakes his head. “No idea. You’re Bellerivian. No issue. Mother was from here. No issue. Grandfather was royalty from Liechtenstein with an arranged marriage. Before that? No idea.” His expression turns pensive. “Do we cover that far back in school?”

“Too long ago to remember,” Julia says. “Doesn’t matter. We’ll dig. See what we turn up.” She taps her nail on the arm of the chair. “In four weeks, you’ll be at our wedding with Princess Simone. Everyone will believe you’re announcing your intentions.”

“I realize that,” I say. My heart skips at having our agreement spoken aloud. I’ve avoided discussing Princess Simone and my own wedding at every turn.

“If we can’t find anything in the next four weeks,” Nick says, “leaving Simone in favor of Rory will become a national and international scandal.”

The vise around my chest that dissipated at the sight of Rory earlier reappears. “I realize that.” There’s no scenario they could give me that I haven’t considered since I kissed Rory last week. Kissing her opened the floodgates of “what if,” and I haven’t been able to shut them. Though I would never say it out loud, since the anxiety surfaced this morning, I’ve been wondering if I’ll have to give up my rightful position in the line of succession. In the end, the coronation we’re planning might not even be mine.

Would I do that for her?

I shake my head to clear those thoughts. I’m not there yet. Take power and declare divorce legal. Take power and have Rory as a mistress. Take power and forget about Rory. The last thought causes me to groan out loud.

“You okay?” Julia asks, and she glances at Nick in alarm.

“Just get me what I need, and everything will be fine,” I say. “No law, or if there is a law, a loophole I can thread.”

“Maybe you should pause your wedding planning with Simone while you figure this out?” Julia suggests.

I rise behind my desk, prepared to usher them out. It took me most of the day to decide bringing them to my office was the only course of action. The sooner I get them out, the sooner I can check on Rory, even though I’ve been in constant contact with Stella.

“I will take your opinion under advisement,” I say. Delaying the wedding might mean delaying the coronation. With Father declared incompetent, there is no royal voting power on the Advisory Council, and allowing that to continue too long would be a mistake. Nothing about this situation is simple.

Nick’s jaw ticks. “Do you want to talk about this more? I feel like you should be talking about whatever is going on with Rory.”

“Nothing to discuss,” I say, and I open the door to my office. “Either there’s a loophole or there isn’t.”

“Still? Even now you can be so cut and dry about whatever is going on with you?” Nick asks. “I mean, this is unprecedented behavior for you.”

“What choice do I have?” I burst out and slam the door closed again. “To become king, I must be married. Right now, that cannot be with who I’d prefer. If I can’t have her, then I have to resign myself to what I can have. Power. Influence. An heir with ties to two kingdoms.” The thought of what I’ll have to do with Simone to produce an heir isn’t remotely appealing. Unfair to her, perhaps. She seems more than amenable to the arrangement. Even claimed to have had a crush on me when she was younger. Makes me an ass on both sides of this equation.

If I must be, I will. My life’s motto.

“Alex,” Julia murmurs, and she crosses to me to run her hand down my arm.

“Don’t,” I say, and I withdraw from her touch. “Don’t Alex me as though this can be fixed with a few kind words. Find me a way out of this fucking hole I’ve dug for myself.”

Nick appears behind Julia. “You’re upset, but you can’t speak to my wife like that.”

“It’s fine,” Julia says. She scans my face, and there’s sadness in her blue eyes. “Nick, Brice, and I will go through every royal document we can get our hands on. We’ll get Desmond on it too. If there’s a way out, we’ll find it.”

I nod, unable to get any words out. Julia’s kindness has always poked holes in my armor and might have been able to crush it if she’d been so inclined.

“I’d tell you to stay away from her until we know more,” Julia says, “but we’re beyond that, aren’t we?” Her smile is sad. “If you haven’t told Rory the whole truth, she deserves it.”

“She knows I can never marry her,” I say.

“And Simone?” Julia prompts.

“Does Posey know?” I ask. Mitigate the risk. If Posey knows, I’ll have to seriously consider telling Rory. They’ve gotten quite close.

“Royal business isn’t something I share with anyone except my mother.” Julia chuckles. “And sometimes not even her if I can help it.”

“You should tell her,” Nick says. “Rory. You don’t want her blindsided.”